Daniel Nolan's Blog

Corporate Pillars Day 105

2010-10-04T14:23:00.000-05:00

I just finished a very busy and exciting weekend. I was asked to show "Corporate Pillars", even though incomplete, at the Ravenswood Art Walk in Chicago this past weekend. The first public showing. Needless to say I was excited about the opportunity. I am very grateful to Moss Design who extended the invitation and opened their space to me. I also exhibited 5 other of my larger pieces.

Because of the size of the sculpture and the paintings I was exhibiting, I rented a cargo van to transport the work. I felt this was a better idea than trying to stuff things in my car in multiple trips. This was the first time I rented a van for my art work. It was a mini adventure. It also gave my work some importance. It warranted special transport. I really like the idea that my art and my opinion of my art has evolved to the point of treating it with reverence. All went well.

The art walk was very successful. I met many people and I still enjoy others admiring my work. I like talking about my work as well and I have more than enough willing listeners.

Next to the sculpture, I place a box to collect additional business cards for the project. I received a bumper crop of 102 business cards. That is a new event record. I am very pleased with the results. Now I have to shift gears and get ready for the Pilsen Open Studios on Oct 16-17 that I am participating in. I am curious how far I can push the sculpture in the next two weeks.

Corporate Pillars Day 101

2010-09-30T17:10:00.000-05:00

I haven't posted an update on the "Corporate Pillars" project in a while. Since Day 78 to be exact. Fortunately, I am exhibiting in 4 different places in October so the last few weeks have been getting ready for those show while continuing to collect business cards and construct the sculpture.

I am very proud to announce that this afternoon, I installed the incomplete sculpture of 2704 business cards at Moss Design in Chicago as part of the Ravenswood Art Walk taking place Oct 2-3, 11am-5pm. The sculpture is beginning to take form at roughly 27% complete.

The construction of the arches was a challenge but I believe I worked out the bugs and the next set of arches will go much quicker. Construction aside however, I am really enjoying getting out, meeting new people and talking about the project while asking for business cards. I have been to professional brunches and networking events. I have attended Chamber of Commerce meetings. I'm hoping to attend more networking type events physically and online to continue to bring in more business cards.

Another fun aspect of collecting the business cards is in the past week I have received several hundred business cards from people who I do not directly know or met. These are people who have responded to my call for donations on the Internet. I have received letters containing one card to 100 cards. Each morning I check my mail at the studio in anticipation of how many letters and how many cards may have come in. It is a rush.

As of today, I have received 3899 business cards. This is nearly enough to complete the second stage of the sculpture. I am behind in tracking the number of individuals and number of cities. I hope to catch up early next week. It is over 1200 people and 150 cities but being a bit detailed orientated, I want to know exact numbers.

For those in Chicago this weekend, please stop by and see the incomplete sculpture. It is cool to see it in this state. Thank you to all those who have donated (names listed on my website). To those first hearing about the project, please send me your business cards. A complete project description and mailing information can be also found on my site.

Please pass this information on to those who may find this an interesting project by email, Facebook or Twitter. Thanks in advance!

Corporate Pillars Day 78

2010-09-07T15:00:00.000-05:00

I had a relaxing weekend. I spent most of my time running errands and catching up with friends. Saturday night I had dinner with my friend Tim. Chinese food. I hadn't had chinese food in a while. The restaurant also does sushi. Next to the take out menus by the door they had business cards, one for the chinese side, one for the sushi side. I took one of each.

Then, later that evening, Tim and I decided to get a night cap and we ran into Young and Clement who I had brunch with earlier in the day. Young had found 2 additional business cards from one of his associates.

That was 4 for the weekend.

Then this morning, I found one more card on the stairs while I was walking up to my studio. I know have collect 1918 business cards since I began this project.

I worked on the sculpture some today but it was mostly a painting kind of day. I did complete the 8th and 9th levels add begin the finishing work on the arches. I'll post pictures tomorrow with the weekly update

Corporate Pillars Day 75

2010-09-04T14:08:00.000-05:00

Today is Day 75 of the Corporate Pillars business card sculpture project. Two weeks ago, I ran into my friends Young and Clement at a street fair. It had been a few months since we last saw each other. While catching up with each other, I mentioned the business card sculpture and both said they had business cards they could donate to the cause. Schedules being what they are these days, we finally met up this morning for brunch.

The timing was perfect. I had enough time to drop of the paintings at the studio and grab my ladder before meeting them on the other side of town. Brunch was a blast! Too many cups of coffee later, I left learning about the system used by a major airline employees to book flights. Both guys travel a lot for that fact both work for an airline is no big surprise. It was fun listening to their corporate stories. I am very much removed from that world but it played in perfectly to the sculpture project. Young did have one request. He asked that I put one of his cards at eye level. I don't think that will be an issue.

After brunch, I ran to the hardware store to pick up some ceiling paint. I still have hopes of painting at least one ceiling if not two this holiday weekend. If I do, I will still be on schedule to sell my condo this Fall.

In meeting Young and Clement for brunch, I recieved an additional 382 business cards for the project.

Corporate Pillars Update Week 4

2010-08-24T15:18:00.000-05:00

# of Business Cards Received this Week: 596
Total # of Business Cards Received: 1234
# of Cards in the sculpture: 1007
# of People Represented: 540
# of Cities: 75
# of Completed Levels: 6 (7 & 8 partial)
# of Hours: 23

During Week 4, I became aware of the magnitude of the project I started. I crossed the 1000 card milestone and I realized that I truly only began constructing. With a need of 4000-5000 additional cards, I have to increase the promotion of the sculpture and myself in order to collect the remaining cards.

I must admit that each morning I am excited to come to the studio and check the mail. Seeing a letter for me which may contain a business card or two (or more) has become very fun. I quickly open the letter to see the card design and where it is from. Unfortunately, some don't always have a return address or name so I can't give credit and thanks to the sender. Regardless, it is fun.

I also enjoy the meditative state I achieve when constructing the main levels of the sculpture. There is not much brain power required for these levels, just action. Repetitive action. I get lost in the action, especially early in the morning when the building is quiet and no music is playing (the norm in my studio).

As usual, I am still soliciting business cards. I have to collect 4500 more, give or take. If you have not yet donated or know someone who would be interest in the project, please visit the project description for the full details.

Corporate Pillars Update Week 2

2010-08-10T13:11:00.000-05:00

# of Business Cards Received this Week: 573

Total # of Business Cards Received: 614

# of Cards in the sculpture: 427

# of People Represented: 264

# of Cities: 65

# of Completed Levels: 5

# of Construction Hours: 11

The structure began to take shape during Week 2. The support pillars are complete and now I am working on building the first arch. Construction of each floor is taking me longer than I was expecting. I am having difficulties keeping each level square with the level below.

In addition to the construction, I am still looking for business card donors. I estimate that the tower will require 4000 more business cards. Instead of throwing away your old cards or the cards from other you have collected, please consider donating to the project and recycle the business cards.

Please visit the project description for the full details.

"Corporate Pillars" Business Card Sculpture Update Week 1

2010-08-03T14:21:00.000-05:00

# of Business Cards Received for Week 1: 20
Total # of Business Cards Received: 41
# of Cards in the sculpture: 26
# of People Represented: 26
# of Cities: 7
# of Construction Hours: 3

This week, most of my effort has been in getting the word out to begin collecting business cards from donors. I NEED THOUSANDS OF CARDS. My focus so far has been on the Internet (Blog, Facebook, Twitter). If you have suggestions of how to spread the word or collect additional cards, please email me at daniel@nolanstudios.com. I would love to hear your ideas.The picture to the right is beginning of the four towers that will support the sculpture.

Please visit the project description for the full details.

Please send business cards to:
Nolan Studios
c/o Daniel Nolan
2150 S. Canalport Ave
5C-3
Chicago, IL 60608

Featured Member on Ovation TV Arts Community

2010-07-30T15:57:00.000-05:00

I've been named the August Featured Member on the Ovation TV Arts Community! Thanks Ovation TV!

Sculpture: Corporate Pillars (working title)

2010-07-29T13:25:00.001-05:00

Do you feel invisible at work and yet know that you are productive?

I was in corporate America for 16 years and I felt like a small cog in a very large machine. I had a difficult time seeing how my daily efforts made an impact to the company, its goals and society. On occasion, I felt like cattle being herded into my office cubicle to do as I was told in order to satisfy the needs of the organization. I was a beast of burden. I was a human resource, not a person. I felt strip of my individuality. Yet, I am an individual and my contributions do matter. Others depended on me as I depended on others. Together, we got the job done.

Although I have made the professional transition out of Corporate America, there are many aspects of the lifestyle and culture that live on within me. This sculpture is to honor my past as well as all the individuals who collectively compose the corporate culture.

What will the sculpture look like?
The sculpture will be an office tower made out of donated business cards reaching between 6-8 feet high and roughly 2 foot square at the base.

Why an office building?
The corporate office building exists to house the people who make up the corporation. It is often the symbol and prestige of the corporate organization. It is where the corporate warrior spends the majority of his/hers life, often sacrificing personal life on behave of the corporate collective. It is where money is worshipped. The office building is a modern temple.

Why build a house of cards?
When the cards are arranged in specific patterns, the cards produce a stable edifice. Individually, the cards fall under the pressure of gravity. Collectively, they can grow upward producing structurally sound and amazing results. Remove one card, however, and the entire building can collapse. There is interdependency among the individuals in order support the structure.

Why use donated business cards?
Business cards are the main construction component to represent the masses of individuals that assemble a corporation. The sculpture, like a corporation, comes to life due to the collective efforts and contributions of individuals. As workers agree to participate in the corporate structure, the donations are the agreement to participate in this sculpture.

Where can I send business cards?
Please send business cards to:

Nolan Studios
c/o Daniel Nolan
2150 S. Canalport Avenue
5C-3
Chicago, IL 60608

All cards are accepted and greatly appreciated, whether it is 1 or 100, current or from a former position.

What do I get out of donating business cards?
Donors receive three things.
1.) Donors will be participating in a collective art project. It cannot exist without you.
2.) All those who donate business cards will be receive the Nolan Studios Monthly Newsletter which will track the progress of building of the sculpture as well as other art projects.
3.) In addition, your name will be added to the list of donors on the Nolan Studios web site (http://www.nolanstudios.com/). The list of donors will be incorporated into the sculpture as well.

When will the sculpture be completed?
The project began on July 15, 2010. The hope is to complete the sculpture as soon as possible. The timeframe is greatly dependent on the number of donated business cards received.

How can I track progress of the sculpture?
Updates will be posted in the
1.) Nolan Studios Monthly Newsletter
2.) Tracking page on the Nolan Studios web site (www.nolanstudios.com)
3.) Facebook Fan Page (www.facebook.com/danielnolanfanpage)

For additional information, please email me directly at daniel@nolanstudios.com.

Do You Have Extra Business Cards?

2010-07-23T13:57:00.000-05:00

I'm starting a new project next week, a combo scuplture and card house. I'm asking your help. I need business cards. All types accepted, current or old. The business cards are a key element to the sculpture.

Please send to

Nolan Studios
c/o Daniel Nolan
2150 S. Canalport Ave
5C-3
Chicago, IL 60608

All donations will be posted on my website documenting my progress.

The First Items in My Online Store

2010-07-22T14:03:00.000-05:00

To buy this mug or other art items, please visit www.nolanstudios.com

What Inspires Me?

2010-06-21T12:47:00.000-05:00

Recently, I have been getting a similar question over and over, namely, what inspires me? The idea of inspiration can for some take on a mystical quality and at some level I suppose it does for me as well, especially of when I think of the times when I know I am experiencing inspiration in the moment. Unfortunately, I'm not aware it occurring often. The frequency is increasing however, which is definitely a good thing.

A month ago, I was sitting in a Starbucks that I go to in my neighborhood when I feel the need to be around people. I was sitting in a chair that I have sat countless times over the past 13 years I've lived in the neighborhood. On the wall hung the typical Starbuck mass produced coffee themed art. Something caught my eye and I stared. First, I found it odd that I was staring at a picture I didn't particularly liked and I had seen many times over the years but something was different. I then noticed that I was studying it intently, the color, forms and shapes, the feeling. I took a quick picture with my cell phone and went back to my work. Periodically, I would look back up at it.

I decided that I had to create my version of what I saw when I returned to my studio the next day.

A few weeks later, I was again at the same Starbucks and there was the picture that inspired me. But it appeared different to me. The colors and feeling were different compared to the last time I was there. Thinking I may have lost my mind, I looked at the photo I took and it matched up with what I was seeing, not what I had saw. That was when I realized that I had a moment of inspiration. I saw something interesting, something different, than I had seen before. Since then, I have had that experience a few more times and fortunately I am learning to pay attention to those moments.

So, when people ask what inspires me, the answer is everything. I don't know where it will come from or when but it often is something common and often overlooked. I just get a chance to see it in a different way than before and that seems to be enough to trigger something in me to go with it.

On a side note, the paintings that came from my Starbucks experience do not look like the painting in Starbucks. They are however some of the best work I have done to date. Photos will be available shortly. I'm in the process of having these developed as prints.

"Faces"

2010-06-10T12:27:00.002-05:00

"Faces"

30"w x 40"h

Resin on Canvas

Doodle 1

2010-06-09T10:31:00.000-05:00

"Doodle 1"

24"w x 18"h

Resin on Canvas

"Whole"

2010-06-04T14:54:00.001-05:00

"Whole"

36"w x 36"h

Resin on Canvas

Close up of "Whole"

"Home"

2010-06-03T12:54:00.000-05:00

"Home"

36"w x 36"h

Resin on Canvas

Close up view of "Home"

In the New Studio!

2010-05-12T14:38:00.001-05:00

This is my first blog since moving into my new art studio. So far it has been adventure and I'm looking forward to the next twist and turns. To start, days before the move, I became anxious and nervous. Change can be challenging, especially big change. I saw moving into the studio a big change. Fortunately, the space wasn't ready as scheduled and the move was delayed 2 days. That gave me some time to breath, relax, and regroup. Come Monday morning, I was ready and eager to go.

When I got to the building, the building management and maintenance crew helped me unload the first car load. 15 minutes, boom, I was in. Oops! No electricity in the space yet. They building staff was working on it and I really didn't care since I was just moving in. I didn't plan on painting at all.

I drove home, picked up lunch and another load to stuff. The afternoon unload I had to do alone, which I had planned. The elevator was out of service however, something I had not planned. So, I carried everything up 5 flights of stairs. And I continued to do that for the remainder of the week. Great exercise! I didn't have to go to the gym. That was the best time saver.

Slowly, as the week progressed, the studio began to take shape. By Wednesday I started painting again. It felt good (I was still in the dark but the sun was shining and I worked by the window). Did I mention there is a huge window in the space?

I am now in week 2 of the studio. The experience so far has been and continues to be incredible. I now have electricity and lights. I am painting longer and longer each day and now I'm to the point I have to tell myself to stop and go home. I have also noticed a shift in my style. It appears to be loosening up and becoming a bit more experimental.

All in all, I am very happy I decided to get a dedicated space for creating art work. This will be a great learning experience.

2150 S. Canalport Ave., 5C-3, Chicago, IL 60608 (That is in the Pilsen neighborhood just west of Halsted)

Inspiration

2010-04-26T14:13:00.001-05:00

I enjoy hearing random people I speak with that they are not "creative". I don't believe it but I usually let them finish their explanation. It is sometimes coupled with praise for my work which makes it more difficult for me to challenge their view of "not being creative" without losing the praise. I like getting the praise. As I have written about before, I believe all are creative in one way or another. People get ideas and then they do something as a result of the idea.

Being creative has two major components, idea and action. Another ingredient or possibly a catalyst is inspiration. For me, I experience two types of inspiration, inspriation that leads to ideas and inspiration that leads to taking action.

When I'm dreaming, walking down the street, on the verge of waking up or falling asleep, meditating, watching tv or reading a magazine, I "receive" images or ideas for art projects (and not art projects). I describe this as receiving the ideas because the often feel like they come out of no where and are unrelated to what I am thinking or doing at the time. They feel like a gift. With the ideas I receive is typically a purse of energy. It is this energy consider to be inspiration. It is fuel for the idea.

But after I have the idea, it is not uncommon for it to sit in my head for weeks or sometimes months or years before it comes out in any form (if ever). An idea is just and idea after all.

Fortunately, I also experience an inspiration to take action. This is a little more than feeling motivated to push an idea forward. When this occurs, I'm excited, energized, motivated, encouraged to bring my idea into reality. This is a need or desire to take action and the action feels good, physically and emotionally. As long as I can focus on the inspiration, I am able to ride the wave and continue to take action. But, on occassion, I get distracted, the flow it broken and the momentum seems to slip away. I can get the inspiration back with concentrated effort. Distractions however will come back to haunt me.

I've learned that the inspiration that leads to ideas and the inspiration that leads to action don't necessarily come at the same time or are even on similar schedules. Fortunately, with patience and perservernce, both will return and the combination of the two allow me to be creative.

"Horizon"

2010-04-22T16:30:00.003-05:00

"Horizon"

18"w x 24"h

Resin on Canvas

"Reach"

2010-04-21T14:27:00.002-05:00

"Reach"

24"w x 18"h

Resin on Canvas

"Uncomitted"

2010-04-16T14:48:00.002-05:00

"Uncomitted"

24"w x 24"h

Resin on Canvas

Worry

2010-04-15T14:38:00.000-05:00

"Worry"

30"w x 30"h

Resin on Canvas

Spring Note Cards

2010-04-14T17:37:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine just posted some great note cards. Please take a look.

http://albertellenich.posterous.com/spring-notecard-ideas-0

Slow Start, Good Finish

2010-04-12T13:58:00.000-05:00

When I woke up this morning, I didn't feel particularly creative. And yet, I have paintings to finish and new ideas to begin. I procrastinated for about an hour before I realized that my first newsletter was being sent out this afternoon. The thought was the spark I needed to move a bit faster (okay, just move).

I decided on the pieces I was going to work on and when those were done for the day, which idea I was going to begin. I changed into my painting clothes, old jeans and paint covered t-shirt, and stood there. More procrastinating. I walked over to the bonsai which of course needed water. So I watered them. They can't water themselves. I moved some furniture around to have better flow and/or more space for me to work in (I haven't moved into my new studio yet). No big surprise, the new furniture placement didn't result in a better flow or more space.

So, standing in front of my workbench, which needs to be cleaned by the way, I stared at the mess, the used mixing cups, bottles of paint, gloves, etc. All the items on the workbench needed a home. I wanted so badly to reorganize but by that point I was quite aware I was procrastinating. Then I was hit by a series of thoughts. Will the newsletter be popular? How will I increase my mailing list? Can I use it in future to help generate sales? Off my mind went. It was thinking about everything and anything EXCEPT painting. I think if someone held up a shiny object I would have been entranced by it.

Eventually, I started working. In a very, very short period of time the random thoughts were gone. Or at least I wasn't aware of them. I was methodical, precise, intentional and quick. Task after task, painting after painting, I kept going. I was an art machine.

At the point I was working on applying a based coat for a new piece I decided to start today, I was working very fast speading the resin over the large canvas before the resin began to set up. About half way through, I was became aware that although the radio was on, I didn't notice it. The earlier thoughts and urge to procrastinate were completely gone. I felt like I was an extension of the painting, or the painting was an extension of me. I'm not sure which. Oddly, and unfortunately, when I became aware that I was in the flow, I immediately fell out of it. As much as I tried to jump back into the flow I could not. In fact, the more I worked for it, the more elusive it was.

The thing I am grateful for is that I did get into the flow today, at least once. I'm hoping I can get back there tomorrow.

The First Newsletter

2010-04-09T15:21:00.000-05:00

This week has been productive. I completed two paintings, ordered lights for the new studio and completed and scheduled my first newsletter. I'm excited and anxious about it. The newsletter is something I have thought about and talked about for several years now and now it is a reality. It is just another example of getting my work and name out into the Ether.

Now that the first one is under my belt, I'm not exactly sure what I was afraid of that lead me to drag my feet. Yes, there is a cost involved, dollars and my time, but both are minimal. My mailing list is relatively small but then again who knows where emails go after I hit "send". I actually see growing the mailing list as a game. How many emails can I collect this month? (By the way, if you would like to sign up for the newsletter, please go to http://www.nolanstudios.com/ and look in the top corner.)

My goals for the newsletter are many. I want to stay in contact with people who like my work, first and foremost. I want to present recently completed works as well as news and events. I also want to provide descriptions of my process/techniques, current art trends, and how to incorporate more creativity into our daily lives. I may be biting off more than I can chew but time will tell. I also want to hear from you. What works and doesn't work. The newsletter for me is a communication vehicle, sales vehicle and an educational vehicle.

I would say that my art career has been an interesting journey of "ups and downs" but I know that I have just started. The newsletter and the blog will help me document how things unfold.

Nightmare

24"w x 24"h

Resin on Canvas

Now and the Future

2010-04-08T14:09:00.000-05:00

Although I have several weeks yet to wait before I move into the new studio space, I'm very excited. The fantasies have started of how I will arrange my work space, what projects I will begin, what new ideas may come to me, etc. It feels like a just got a new job.

On the other hand, it has also been difficult to continue working in my current studio space. I find that I have to continue to pull myself back to the present moment. There are unfinished projects to complete. There are new techniques to try out which ironically are the basis for those new big future projects. What I noticed is that when I concentrate on the moment, what specifically I am doing, I become absorbed by it. In addition, when I finish painting for the day, I feel a sense of accomplishment. I pushed the projects forward and often learn something new about the techniques I'm using or the approaches I'm taking to create the paintings.

In the past month, my technique and style has changed. All indications that they will continue to change for the near future, assuming I concentrate on the moment, receive the input and process without judgement. Prejudice and preconceptions can kill the creative process.

So, I allow myself to fantasize about the new studio and the new work life. But when it comes down to working, the actual creation, I will continue to concentrate and allow the painting to just "be" and "evolve" naturally. I guess the same can be said about me as well.

"Forsaken"

2010-04-05T13:55:00.001-05:00

"Forsaken"

February 2010

I, alone, crucify. I, alone, am crucified.

There are times when I feel rejected or abandoned. The motivation can stem from my reaction to the behavior and words of others, how I react to my behavior and words towards others, or how I react to actions and beliefs internally. This raises both negative and positive emotional and spiritual consequences. The incentive to gain praise, attention, approval, or bowing to peer pressure can result in denying or hiding fragments of myself or sacrificing me for the sake of another. Alternately, these same behaviors can also empower me to grow by learning and shedding life patterns that no longer serve me. In the end, whatever the outcome may be, forsaking oneself is indeed painful and lonely.

This painting represents the intrinsic rejection of myself or parts of myself by forsaking aspects of who and what I am. I chose the classic Western iconic image of the crucifixion because it illustrates suffering and rebirth at both a physical and spiritual level, the title, "Forsaken," being an allusion to Matthew 27:45-46 in the Christian Bible.

"Abandonado"

2010 de febrero

Yo, solo, crucifico. Yo, solo, soy crucificado.

A veces me siento rechazado o abandonado. El motivo puede provenir de mi reacción a la conducta y palabras de otros, cómo reacciono contra mi conducta y las palabras hacia otros, o cómo reacciono contra acciones y creencias internamente. Esto levanta ambas consecuencias negativas y positivas, emocionales y espirituales. El estímulo para ganar el elogio, la atención, la aprobación, o inclinándose para mirar la presión puede tener como resultado negar u ocultar fragmentos de yo mismo o sacrificándome por otro. Alternamente, estas mismas conductas también me pueden autorizar a crecer aprendiendo y la muda pautas de vida que ya no me sirven. Al fin, lo que el resultado puede ser, lo abandonando es verdaderamente doloroso y solitario.

Esta pintura representa el rechazo intrínseco de yo mismo o de las partes de yo mismo abandonando aspectos de quién y de lo que soy. Escogí la imagen Occidental clásica de icono de la crucifixión porque ilustra sufrimiento y renacimiento en ambos un nivel físico y espiritual, el título, "Abandonado," siendo una alusión a Matthew 27:45-46 en la Biblia cristiana.

What is Creativity?

2010-03-31T12:53:00.000-05:00

For years, even in my old corporate life, I wonder about creativity. What was it? Is it a skill or a gift? Was is a procces or divine intervention?

Wikipedia has a good definition, namely, "creativity is a mental process involving the discovery of new ideas or concepts, or new associations of the existing ideas or concepts, fueled by the process of either conscious or unconscious insight." But I prefer a simplier definition. Creativity is the act of bringing an idea into reality.

When I have an idea, it is just an idea. It lives in my head. No one else can see or experience it. The idea is real but that is all that it is, an idea. However, when I applied action, I begin to do things that will make the idea real in substance. It can become physical, given sufficient action is taken.

In this broader definition, creativity is everywhere. Everyone is creative. When I think about what I want to eat for dinner, I have an idea for a specific meal. If I just sit there and think about that delicious meal I want, I would end up starving. It doesn't make itself. I have to do something, namely cook, order out or go to a restaurant. So I decide to stay home and cook. I take out the pots and pans, start the stove or oven, locate the ingredients and begin mixing. I am active in the creation of the meal. It would not happen without me. My idea, my action. I continue with the cooking of the food and finally place the meal on the plate. The meal is real. It was previously just an idea.

This is an everyday example of how there are instances of creativity in all our lives. The great novel or painting masterpiece are what I often hear people talk about when referring to being creative. But a profitable sales strategy, a successful teaching plan, a decorated room, a new mousetrap also are examples of creativity.

Look around. Everything we see, touch, experience in our daily lifes from a toothbrush to a Picasso started as an idea. Creativity is everywhere all the time. We are all practice creativity.

I Leased a Studio!

2010-03-29T16:14:00.000-05:00

Well, I did it! I found a studio space and signed a lease late last week. I'm scheduled to move in May 1st (Happy May Day!). The new studio is located in the Lacuna Art Lofts in the Pilsen neighborhood on the south side of Chicago.

The experience of hunting for a studio was a bit surreal. No matter what I saw, I was unable to imagine what my work day would look like. Then after some seemed like setbacks after making a decision, I forced myself to sit still. I didn't look at any additional studios. I didn't followup with any emails or voicemails regarding a space.

Then, at the moment I thought I was back to square one (actually I felt I was even further back than that), I received a call, saw a space, and I imagined how it would work. The images came with little coaxing. I saw the walls that didn't exist yet, where the door would be, how I would hang the existing art, where I would place the workbench, where I would do my work, how I would store the paintings. I even saw my new bonsai tree which I had purchased for the new space.

At the lease signing, I was excited but at piece. Signatures were exchanged and the check slid across the table. That was it. Kinda anti climatic given the struggle I made of looking for a studio.

One interesting thing I noted is that during the searching process, I didn't paint very much. I was stressed. I was concerned about schedules, money, getting a new exhibit, etc. But since the lease signing, I have been painting up a storm or as much as I can given my current space limitations.

I'm still a bit nervous not knowing where the rent will come from each month but then again that is also part of the fun of this adventure. I am experiencing many feelings at once, triggered by the new studio. I hope I can capture some of them in my art. Regardless, I am very grateful to have a studio.

A Frustrating Day

2010-03-17T15:24:00.000-05:00

The hunt for a new studio space has proven to be a much bigger ordeal than I could ever have imagined. For weeks now I have looked at studios across Chicago, north, south, west. I calculated a budget and double and triple checked the numbers. I measured out my current space and figured out how much space I needed and then how much space I wanted. I backed into how my space I can currently afford, somewhere between "need" and "want".

After weeks of searching and contemplating, I spent the last week debating two studios, apples to oranges comparison just to make things more interesting. I have now made up my mind 3 times, second guessing myself each time.

So last night, I decided to pull the trigger and sign a lease. I slept like a baby in spite of my seasonal allergies kicking in. I was excited with a touch of being anxious. Finally, I can moved on, or at least I thought. I spent the morning completing the application, running to the bank and collecting the random pieces of paper needed for the lease signing dance. I drove out the building which was to be my new work space imagining driving there day in and day out. I was filled with excitement. My first studio. How cool!

Imagine my surprise and disappointment when I found out that the building manager wasn't there and wasn't available for the scheduled meeting. In addition, the paperwork the application required isn't the paperwork I needed to bring. My excitement turned to disappointment and then quickly anger. I felt that my time was wasted and my business wasn't appreciated. I also wondered if this is indicative of how the building is managed.

Perhaps I seconded guessed myself too many times and the other studio is where I "should" be. Time will tell. I decided to take the afternoon off and not move on the studio today. I am resisting the urge for a knee jerk reaction. Although I am impatient and I feel that I am behind schedule, I will end up where I end up when I am suppose to end up there. I don't want to force it.

I'm still frustrated however. I thought I was so close.

Yet More Studios to See

2010-03-10T14:57:00.000-06:00

The search for a new studio space continues. Playing fortune teller is not easy. Not only is this a case of space and budget, but the neighborhood, amenities and how the space feels are also key considerations. Also, since I work with resin, the fumes force some shared spaces out of consideration. Bacically, when it comes down to it, there is no perfect space.

Right now, I'm stuck in paralysis by analysis. Given that there is not perfect space within my budget, I have to compromise. This is where being a fortune teller is getting tricky. I don't know what I don't know. Having a dedicated art space is new for me. I'm excited and I expect good things but yet I am unaware of what may lie ahead if I choose one space over another. Simple lack of experience. So, all I can do is work with what I know today and move forward. The best part of a month to month lease is that I can always move if I have to.

I currently work in 250 sq ft. This includes the area I am using for storage. Basically my den and guest room. I have 3 spaces in one building, 350, 400 and 450 sq ft. Since the cost difference per month is small from the smallest to the medium size studio, I am leaning towards the 400 sq ft space. I don't know if I will notice the extra 50 sq ft in the larger studio. Does size matter?

So I have measured and calculated and looked at the checkbook 4 times now. I'm going to walk away and see if any of the spaces resonated with me. I'll keep you posted.

More Studios To See

2010-03-02T16:33:00.000-06:00

I continue to look for a new studio space. After a while they begin to look a like. Although, I think I found one today that may work well. Or at least, it has potential. Of course, I have to re-evaluate the budget.

I'm also working on the new web site. I can envision what it looks like but it is slow going. This includes a revamp of the blog as well.

And while I'm doing all of this, I'm also writing my first newsletter. One of these days (hopefully soon) it will go out and I can start building my mailing list as well.

Funny. When I have energy and motivation, I can't move fast enough. When I don't, it can all wait for tomorrow.

Studio Hunting

2010-02-26T15:44:00.004-06:00

This past week I have been looking for a new studio space. I feel it is time to take my art and business up a notch. Plus I need more space since many of my pieces are becoming larger in scale.

Looking for a studio is nearly a full-time job! And a bit stressful. Of course, like looking for a new apartment or house, no place is perfect, priced right, or in the right neighborhood. So this forces the question, what is it I really want from a studio? What is important?

First, I want more space. Second, I would like the space to be within my budget and lastly, I want to be part of a larger artistic community. So far, the larger spaces are out of my budget (time to rethink the budget)and all those in established art communities are full. So, this is becoming an exercise in predicting the future and/or gambling on what may happen if I go here or go there. Will a community develop? Will I find kindred spirits? Will I find a creative support network to challenge me to grow artistically?

In addition the the community, is the question of will people come to my studio for open studio nights? I suspect the neighborhod will influence that as well.

So, after one week, I have seen seven locations in three different neighborhoods. Two studios stand out. Do I decide now or continue looking? The funny thing is that I know which ever space I select, I will make it work. This feels like a big deal but I am beginning to thing it is only a big deal in my head.

This is like starting a painting. There is no wrong or right way to start and the end product will not resemble the original concept, it is often better. This may be a decision based on gut feelings than on rational decision making.

Time will tell where I end up. Regardless, this is going to be a fantastic experience. I'll post my new address once I get there.

First Interview

2010-01-22T14:13:00.002-06:00

I just finished my first interview as an artist for GALA Online Magazine (http://www.galamagonline.com). Founded on the east coast of the United States by Christine Gerity of New Jersey, GALA Magazine / LGBT Artists' mission is to give voice to unseen, unheard, and undiscovered artists within the lgbt community. Since I still consider myself as "emerging", it felt like a good fit.

The interview took about 15 in total and the questions ranged from why I did quite corporate to pursue art to plans for the future. I hadn't thought about the reasons why I started this in a while. It was good to "go back to my roots." It was motivating.

All week I've felt like I have been wandering aimlessly. Towards the end of the week, I began doing a few little things to promote the new series (going on the web site this weekend) and those small steps in conjunction with the interview fired me up. I'm looking forward instead of backwards again.

Anyways, the interview was very fun. I'm happy I had the experience and I'm hoping for more interviews in the future. I'll post the link to the article when it gets posted.

My First Review

2009-10-15T16:50:00.001-05:00

http://www.chicagoartreview.net/

"Luck"

2009-10-13T15:09:00.001-05:00

"Luck"
24" x 24"
Resin on Canvas

2009-10-01T13:58:00.000-05:00

"Apprehension"
40"w x 30"h
Resin on Canvas

New Painting

2009-09-29T15:20:00.001-05:00

"Desire"
Resin on Canvas
30"x30"

High Days, Low Days

2009-09-28T14:06:00.003-05:00

I thought that having the pressure of "having" to create a certain number of paintings by a certain date was overwhelming. In all actuality, it isn't. Intellectually speaking it is a lot and I feel a sense of accountability but when I look at my actions day in and day out, I'm on a steady pace towards completion. Some days I work and several pieces, on others, only a few. There have been days when I don't touch any of them. Those days still bother me. But overall, I can seem to create on demand knowing that my level of inspiration will vary from day to day. Therefore it is becomes important that I recognize the "high level" days and push them to their maximum. Those are the days the contain insight, creative surges, inspiration, and energy. On the "low level" days, my actions are more mechanical in nature. Fortunately, one the inspiration has hit and the painting has started there are often several days of pure "implementation", the mechanical, mindless actions that are required to complete the project or at least push them forward. It becomes very, very clear when I reach a point when more inspiration and/or creativity is needed to continue. At that moment, I stop working. I wait for the next "wave".

Where to Begin?

2009-09-14T15:15:00.004-05:00

Has anyone ever told you to do something that you really had no clue how to do it or where to begin? I know I have. But somehow I always found a way. Maybe not the best way but the project always got done good enough. I feel like this often when creating too. Here is an example. I was asked to submit a piece to the GLAAD OutAuctionNYC in New York. The auction is in November. I had submitted and was accepted before with a piece I just happen to have on hand that fit that year's theme. This year however, I will have to create a piece from scratch.

At first I deleted the email since I didn't want the hassle of creating something special. Then the other night I was thinking about this, my stomach churned and the acid reflux began. This auction pressed a button. I dug out the email and read it again. I still have time to create something special just for this event to match its theme. I was getting excited by the idea of it. But, I had NO idea of what to do. So, I repeated the theme of the auction (btw, it is "In/Out") in my head a few times and went to bed. I woke up the next morning with nothing.

All through the day I began to notice the theme of in/out here and there and all the different ways it can or may apply. The potential is limitless. So there went my acid reflux again. It is limitless. Again, what to do? Where to begin? This is even bigger than I first thought. Before I went to bed last night, I commited to submitted a piece to the auction. I repeated the theme again and off to sleep I went.

This morning I still had no ideas! The frustration was mounting. As I began my creative portion of the day, I found myself looking for distractions. I had no ideas, no approach so I didn't want to start. I refocused and began by finishing up a piece I started a few weeks back. Now I had some momentum. Then I got out the blank canvas. A blank canvas, a blank piece of paper, a blank anything is intimidating. Fortunately, it isn't overwhelming. I told myself that I wasn't going to finish it today and in fact, I have two weeks to complete the painting. That is more than enough time even if I have some setbacks. So all I had to do today was to commit to begin. Not to paint for a certain period of time nor applied so many brush stroke or heaven forbid, finish it. Given the medium I selected, resin, and a layered approach, it is physically impossible to finish in one day. That was my out! It all fell into place. I can't finish it today so I don't have to try to do so. I just had to start. So I did!

Here it is! It took me 20 minutes to develop the first layer. As for the second layer, well, I have no clue. That is something for me to tackle tomorrow.

New Ideas Take Time

2009-09-11T15:04:00.003-05:00

I have an idea for a series of pieces. Actually, I've had the idea for a while now but just recently started moving on it. It is like nothing I've ever done before. Part painting, part sculpture. A vague description, I know. That is mainly due to the fact I myself am not quite sure how to do it nor how to describe it.

This past week, I made drawings of the idea. That seemed to work. So I moved on to paper minature models. After four attempts, the paper model worked too. I had some balsa wood lying around from an old project so I took that and some duct tape (gotta love duct tape) and created yet another model. I think it worked. I'm not sure. The geometry of the wood pieces wasn't as accurate as I was hoping for and duct tape, although good for adhering the pieces together, lacked the overall structural integrity the piece requires.

It is interesting to see how my past lives are creeping into my art work. I'm so geeking out on this project. My engineering background is coming back with a vengance. In addition, I'm in the process of rearranging my studio for greater effeciency. That would be my process improvement side kicking in. All in all, I'm feeling everything coming together.

I guess that is why that even though I don't have a working prototype of the new painting/sculpture and frankly have no idea how to construct it, I know that with time and perserverance, I'll get there. Now, I just have to remind myself of this on those days when not much is moving in my favor.

I'm Back!

2009-09-08T16:53:00.002-05:00

After a brief hiatus, I am back! I took a short consulting project which recently ended. This means that I am not 100% dedicated to art creation again. And I am very excited and enthusiastic about the new few months.

One of the galleries I have shown at over the past few years, the Black Walnut Gallery in Chicago, has offered me a representation contract. This is big! This means that my sales are exclusive through them but they act as my promotion and sales team within the Chicago Metro area. It frees me to spend more time in the studio and less time pounding the pavement looking for perspective buyers. And, if by chance I miss looking for clients, I can focus on other markets. Right now, I'm not sure which direction I will head towards next. I'm sure time will tell.

The other things about a contract is that the gallery has expectations about my work, that is, it has to be strong, and on production, one piece once in a while won't cut it. Currently, we have scheduled a large show, possibly a solo show for February 2010. 10-20 original pieces are required for the show. Keep in mind, not all the work I do I feel is at the caliber to be hanging on a gallery wall. Therefore I want to create more than 20 pieces so the strongest work will be exhibited. I'm now looking at 30+ pieces over the next few months. Now that is pressure! Thank heavens I work well under pressure.

So, going forward I will post pictures of some of the pieces I'm working on. Please send me your comments, critiques, suggestions and support. I've started climbing a very steep hill. I'll take all the help I can get to make it to the top.

I Take The Vow

2009-02-05T16:33:00.003-06:00

Join a global movement sponsored by The Alliance for a New Humanity.

http://itakethevow.com/home

I take the vow of non-violence in my thoughts, my speech and my actions.

Thoughts

2009-02-05T16:27:00.000-06:00

“The thought manifests as the word. The word manifests as the deed. The deed develops into habit. And the habit hardens into character. So watch the thought and its ways with care. And let it spring from love, born out of concern for all beings”

-Buddha

What thoughts have you had today?

Blank Slate

2009-01-21T13:25:00.002-06:00

What are passing ideas, images and dreams, and what are the ideas I grab and make real? Is there a difference? Or is it all me? During the course of the day, many ideas pop into my head. Ideas of things that would be cool to do or have, images that would be interesting or challenging to paint, career directions I never considered before. My challenge recently is which do I choose to pursue, or are these merely distractions.

I am in an arguably enviable spot. I have a clean slate. I am not tied at the moment to any career or life direction. I can go and do anything, truly. On one hand, I am completely grateful for this opportunity. It doesn't happen everyday. On the other hand, it feels daunting and overwhelming. I'm not used to it. Many aspects in my life I allowed to happen to me, such as much career until recently. There wasn't much decision or direction or guiding. Much of that was due to me not understanding that 1) I have a say in how my life unfolds, and 2) I didn't know what I wanted.

So now, it is decision time. Which idea and image to follow is the task as hand. Which ones do I want and I believe I can make happen. Ironically, while I have been in this state for the past few weeks, I have been unable to paint. No desire at all. No inspiration. All these images in my head and I do not feel the urge to attempt to capture them at all.

I am curious to see what will happen in the next year, few months, few weeks. Many changes I suspect are looming just waiting for me to step in one direction in the other and start down a new and exciting path.

4 Principles

2009-01-20T12:52:00.000-06:00

Always keep these four principles as a guiding foundation (from Delvyn Steele):

1. Vision

Have a vision of the change you want to see

2. Belief

Believe that what you do makes a difference

3. Faith

Have faith that even though you may not see the changes today, they will come

4. Action

Take your vision, belief and faith and channel that into daily action

Pat, I Would Like to Buy a Vowel

2009-01-19T15:20:00.004-06:00

This past week I was examining the latest suggestion from Bruce Mau's "Incomplete Manifesto for Growth" which reads "Make new words. Expand the lexicon. The new conditions demand a new way of thinking. The thinking demands new forms of expression. The expression generates new conditions."

I didn't realize this but I've been doing this all along. I'm not a formally trained artist so there are techniques that I use that I may not know the "official" term but I still try to convey what I am doing or the meaning behind it. In those cases, I have created new words or phrases to help me get my point across. This goes hand in hand with creating your own tools.

In addition, creating my own words and phrases is a very creative process and it all builds on each other. First a word, then a technique to match it, then that leads to another technique and a new word is required, and so on. New vocabulary is just one way we can be creative.

But I would like to expand this idea even further playing off the concept that expression generates new conditions, and similarly, new conditions generates new expressions. I don't want to limit myself to only creating new words. I want to encompass it all to new forms of expression. Perhaps it will start with a word that grows into something bigger but I want to remove the limit. When working, create your own form of expressions. That will definitely foster new conditions and change.

This week I will look at the next suggestion from Bruce Mau "Think with your mind. Forget technology. Creativity is not device-dependent." This is the 29th recommendation. Only 13 left to go.

Time Warp

2009-01-14T14:44:00.002-06:00

Some days I find the blank screen before I begin blogging a bit intimidating, like today. I'm not sure what to write about. So this is going to be very free form and flowing.

Due to a few circumstances I changed my routine this morning. I ended up painting nearly 2 hours earlier than normal. It felt odd. However, just like any other day, I got into my groove quickly once I committed to painting. I took frequent breaks and I made sure that I painted for at least the same amount of time as if I were on my usual schedule. I ended up painting a little longer.

I noticed that time warps for me when I paint. During one session between breaks I was painting and it seems that hours had passed. When I checked the time, only 15 minutes had passed. Then in another session, I thought I had painted quickly and it was much later in the day than I realized. I was experiencing extremes in how I sensed time. Time was speeding up, and slowing down. In both cases, I was focused on the painting and what I was doing at the moment. Not many external thoughts were entering my head, except for the music that was playing in the background. For me, painting, or creating of any sort, is a quasi-meditative state. I guess I "zoned out" this morning and my sense of time is the victim.

I wonder how much of my time warping is attitude, or color selection, or focused attention, or combination of these or other things going on. I'm sure these had occurred before but I never noticed it. How many other tasks that I believe will take me a long, long time (and therefore I procrastinate) and end up taking little time to complete? And on the opposite end of the spectrum, how many tasks I believe will be quick and take forever (and I get frustrated)? Of course, what about the tasks that take the amount of time to complete as I had envisioned. Do I even notice those or do I just go on with my day?

I will try to pay more attention to time while I work. I can imagine the fun I could have if I can learn specifically how to warp time. This sounds kinda like Star Trek.

Be Who You Are

2009-01-13T12:53:00.000-06:00

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind
don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.

-Santiz

Left, Left, No Your Other Left

2009-01-12T13:28:00.003-06:00

This past week I was reviewing the latest recommendation from Bruce Mau's "The Incomplete Manifesto for Growth" which states "Read only left-hand pages. Marshall McLuhan did this. By decreasing the amount of information, we leave room for what he called our 'noodle.'" Although in concept, generally speaking, I agree with this idea, the suggestion is not practical or helpful.

If I am reading something, I mean I actually take the time to focus on it, it deserves my full attention and I deserve to understand and comprehend the contents in total. Reading half of it can only lead to miscommunication and misunderstandings. I do agree in the idea of reducing the amount of information that I take in on a daily basis. How much "information" do I really need? Much that comes my way is not information in so much as it is gossip, hearsay, trivia, extra details, etc. There is also news that I am bombarded with through the media that has little to no impact on my daily life but I am to believe that I HAVE to know this information. No, I don't.

Since it seems that I have limited absorption ability when is comes to the amount of information put in front of me, I choose to restrict, censor and/or block the bombardment. For starters, I no longer read the newspaper. I also do not watch or listen to the news in the evening before I go to bed. I want my head clear thinking about what I accomplished today and what I want to accomplish tomorrow. It is much more difficult for me to do that if my head is filled up with details of events that I most likely already read earlier in the day on cnn.com. I have seen some suggestions of banning all new completely. I have found that difficult so I limit the amount of news I'm exposed to instead.

The other way I can reduce information overload is by avoiding gossipy conversations. They are pointless. Walk away. Clear your head. Stick to what matters. The final way I try to make room for my thoughts is through meditating every day. I am for 15-30 minutes once or twice a day but even 5 minutes sitting quietly with no TV, radio, iPod, or external stimulus can be very helpful.

Ultimately, the goal is to leave and/or create room in my head for my thoughts. After all, it is my life. My thoughts should be a major player. But often my thoughts are soft and end up drowned out by everything else that is going on around me. My thoughts create the images I paint, the blogs I write, the business ideas I pursue, even the relationships I want to nurture. My thoughts are core. I want to hear them. To do so, I have to stop and listen to them.

This week I will examine the next recommendation from Bruce Mau which is "Make new words. Expand the lexicon. The new conditions demand a new way of thinking. The thinking demands new forms of expression. The expression generates new conditions."

Sometimes I Drift Off

2009-01-09T13:48:00.002-06:00

This week, I have been working on a set of pop art portraits for a client, 3 in fact. I have done many of these and although I do enjoy painting, this process has become a be stale for me. As such, my mind tends to wonder when I was working. An interesting thought crossed my mind that I haven't let go of, namely, what is the creative process? Where does it begin and where does it end? Can I switch it on or does it require inspiration or divine intervention? I'm sure I'm not the only one ever to ponder these questions before. This isn't even the first time I have thought about it myself.

So I look at the portraits I am currently painting. Like I said, I have completed many of them. I don't question or second guess myself at all during their creation. I follow my process and "puff" (or seemingly so) they are done. Something from nothing. A vague notion in my head (they aren't even clear imagines in my mind) in a relatively short period of time become real paintings. It is almost easy. I just have to put in the work and follow the process. I have heard that if I can conceive and believe, then I can manifest it into reality. It seems to work with the portraits. What about other things?

I have the conceiving ideas part of the recipe down. I get many ideas a day. Probably more than I even realize or hang on to. But this is where the process takes a turn for me, the believing part. Sometimes things (i.e. me and my thoughts) get in the way. I believe but I don't, all at the same time. I send myself and the universe mixed messages. "Don't give me any more ideas like this one, I don't buy it." And so the idea dies a slow death. If by chance I haven't killed off the idea, I may not put the effort into it to make it come to life. I don't work at it hard enough. The odd part is that anything that I truly believe in doesn't seem like work or is easier done than I initially thought. So many ideas appear to me as major mountains to climb. The challenges I take on often end up be hills, not mountains that just require time to walk over them.

I'm not sure where I'm going with all of this. The idea of the process of creation fascinates me. I'll be allowing my mind to drift off when I'm finishing up the portraits and see what I can come up with.

It is an Honor Just to be Nominated

2009-01-05T13:42:00.004-06:00

I haven't posted in a while due to the holidays. Every year it completely adjusts my daily schedule. But now I'm back and I was looking at the latest suggestion from Bruce Mau's "Incomplete Manifesto for Growth" which states "Don’t enter awards competitions. Just don’t. It’s not good for you." This is the 26th suggestion on the list.

I have mixed feelings about this suggestion. On one hand, growth and creativity is done for myself, not for others to approve, judge or admire. On the other hand, without approval, judging and admiration, no one buys the work. And let's face it, money makes the world go round.

For me, this suggestion speaks to the concept of creating for creating sake and not to focus on the outcome. In doing so, the competition between me and others is eliminated. I have no need to enter award competitions unless it is a very good marketing tool (ah, the money thing creeps back).

In the end, if I use the awards or possible awards as validation of the work I'm doing, it is misguided. Self validation and the simple act of creation is all the matters. Looking externally will undoubtly influence and mostly stifle my internal voice, my inate, original expression.

This week I will review "Read only left-hand pages. Marshall McLuhan did this. By decreasing the amount of information, we leave room for what he called our 'noodle.'"

Ingredients to a Healthy Relationship

2008-12-23T12:47:00.001-06:00

I read the following ingredients to a healthy relationship by K. Wordbird Bate that I would pass along.

Some Healthy Relationship Ingredients

Trust: I am willing to allow trustworthy others to gain access to who I am.

Respect: I treat others as valuable. I use a respectful tone and words.

Honesty: I don’t keep secrets, or play games with the truth.

Consideration: I stay mindful of the other person’s needs and feelings.

Acceptance: I feel good about who I am. I see others as okay.

Integrity: I know my values, and I maintain them.

Understanding: I communicate so I am understood. I empathize and listen to others.

Boundaries: I can say, “no,” take some space, have some privacy, ask not to be touched, and make my own decisions. I allow this to others.

Self-Awareness: I stay in touch with what I know, need, want and feel.

Communication: I can talk freely about important issues.

Commitment: I am able to work through discomfort and hard times. I can rely on myself to do what I say I am going to do.

Self-Responsibility: I take charge of my own goals and needs. I don’t expect others to fufill me, make choices for me, do what I should be doing, or answer all my needs.

Maturity: I interact, express and react as a grown person. I don’t fall apart, have tantrums, give the silent treatment, abandon others, act in spite, or call people names.

Equality: I’m a sharing, equal partner. Neither Taker nor Giver.

Directness: I can say clearly and warmly what’s going on for me. . I’m not sarcastic or sideways. I don’t manipulate, confuse or maneuver others.

Change: I allow myself to change and grow. I don’t sabotage change in myself or others.

Touch: I am able to give and accept affection and support through touch.

Emotion: I allow myself the full range of emotions, and express respectfully. I allow others their emotional expression, if it’s respectful of me.

Affirmations

2008-12-21T09:37:00.001-06:00

I came across these affirmations from K. Wordbird Bate that I thought were worth passing on.

Affirmations: Choose a couple of these, and say and think them often to reinforce the message:

I congratulate me on the person I am; and the person I am becoming.

By accepting myself, I reflect light on all those around me.

I accept the people I love as they are right now.

I allow myself to absorb love and acceptance from others.

I am worthy of forgiveness. I love and forgive myself.

I trust that others know best how to live their lives.

I speak to others the way I would want them to speak to me.

I have the right to laugh and feel happy.

I open myself to receive all good things!

Man Cannot Live on Art Alone

2008-12-18T14:29:00.002-06:00

I've been struggling the past month or so in finding inspiration and motivation to paint. Some days I force myself, other days I simple don't do it. I feel guilty. I try to rationalize it. If I don't feel it, I don't feel it. I also was blaming the economy. Little has sold this year so why bother. But I have to remind myself that I don't paint to sell, although that would be great. I paint because I have a creative urge that must be satisfied.

During this time period of slow creativity, I also realized that art alone was not satisfying my analytical side. I want more than art. So, I am relaunching my consulting practice that was very successful several years ago to do in conjunction with art. It will take some time away from the art but in the end, I believe my art will have more energy and life in it. Of course, time will tell.

In the meantime, my day is not split between art and consulting. Both businesses are in its infancy and a lot of work lays ahead. I am trying to break things down into workable pieces so as not become overwhelmed. I have had a tendency in the past to take on big projects, expect too much too soon and then become disappointed and drop everything when reality shows my expectations to be unrealistic. Patience and planning are definitely virtues. I'm learning that.

Creative and Clean

2008-12-16T14:25:00.003-06:00

This past week I was experimenting with the latest recommendation from Bruce Mau's "Incomplete Manifesto for Growth" which states "Don’t clean your desk. You might find something in the morning that you can’t see tonight."

A few years ago, I would have supported this recommendation 100%. My desk in corporate life was notorious. Piles everywhere to the point I wondered how I could find space to work. I even had piles of paper and folders on the floor under my desk and behind me. It gave me a false sense of security, as if I had accomplished something. I had piles and piles of paper to show I was "doing" something. In reality, I was only killing trees. In my last corporate position, at the Division's annual holiday party, I won an "award" for the messiest desk. Not one of my proud moments.

So now I come across a suggestion that encourages me not to clean up. I was baffled at first. I have since began cleaning up and keeping a cleaner work space so this idea hit me as regression. I concluded that although the intent is correct, the approach misses the mark. The issue isn't about cleaning a desk. The issue is about allowing myself to be open day in and day out, to see things differently today than I did yesterday. To experience things new and thus give me a new perspective and possibly a new direction.

I can do this with a clean desk. This is an attitude change. A messy desk in the end causes more angst and time consuming anxiety and allowing for a new and opening experience. So, I'm going to continue to clean up every night. But in the morning, I'm starting each day as if it were the first day of the project. And yes, I may just see something I didn't notice the night before.

This week I will be looking at "Don’t enter awards competitions. Just don’t. It’s not good for you."

To Err is Human

2008-12-08T12:49:00.002-06:00

This past week I was reviewing the latest recommendation from Bruce Mau's "Incomplete Manifesto for Growth" which reads "Avoid software. The problem with software is that everyone has it."

To be honest, I didn't paint or do anything creative last week at all. I didn't feel inspired. Nonetheless, a few ideas came to mind of approaches to take when my creativity returns and all were free of external "influences".

There are a few points I want to make regarding this recommendation. First, even if your creation is original, someone else could eventually copy it. Or you can copy someone else's work. Because it is reproducible mechanically, someone will reproduce it. The work will lose its its originality and uniqueness. The second point, and the more important I believe, is that a creation made with software, albeit different and/or original, lacks soul. It lacks the human element, the human touch. The imperfection that makes the artist special in the first place.

Imperfection is what makes art so perfect. It captures that very element that makes us human and shows it to the world. It also allows for perfection beyond our comprehension. Time to get our hands dirty and turn off the computer. Be human.

Next week, I will write about "Don’t clean your desk. You might find something in the morning that you can’t see tonight."

Standing on Shoulders

2008-12-03T13:50:00.004-06:00

Last week I examined the 23rd recommendation from Bruce Mau's "Incomplete Manifesto for Growth" which states "Stand on someone’s shoulders. You can travel farther carried on the accomplishments of those who came before you. And the view is so much better."

I ended up interpreting this as there is no need to reinvent the wheel. Not only is it okay to used what others have developed or discovered, it is to my advantage. I can build on it and thus produce something complete new and original. Plus I don't have to spend the time and energy learning and making the mistakes someone has already done. I can learn from others and then make brand new mistakes. Not repeat someone else's.

I also saw this as a sign to ask for help when needed. As the saying goes "two heads are better than one", help can push my results closer to my dreams further and faster than if I attempted to do so on my own. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength. It shows that I am aware of the task at hand and my abilities and in order to achieve the task I have to add to my resources. In addition, I have found over the years, asking people for help not only makes others feel needed and useful, but it give them a sense of ownership in my task. They are more interested in what I do. They are more invested in what I do. They become more invested in me. It helps build a sense of community. Likewise, I soon discover that their goals are often related to my own. Thus working together we can "kill two birds with one stone."

There is no need to go it alone. Ask for help. Build on what came before. Include others. Move forward. It all helps in creating positive momentum.

This week I will look at "Avoid software. The problem with software is that everyone has it."

No Limits

2008-11-21T15:59:00.001-06:00

There is no limit to a man, for what he will is what he can. There is
nothing impossible to him who will try.
-Alexander The Great

I Want the Day Off!

2008-11-19T14:36:00.004-06:00

I woke up this morning a bit out of sorts. Not in a bad mood, not in a good one either. I didn't feel much like doing anything, at all. I forced myself to paint a while but not nearly as much as a typical day. I then began to attack small projects around the house that I wanted to get done but for some reason always ended up on the "do tomorrow" list. The ironic part is I don't like being bored nor idle. I want to be busy doing something. But today, that wasn't painting. It wasn't calling galleries either. I didn't want to have anything to do with the creative process or sales in any way, shape or form. To avoid doing so, I even polished my coffee table! The last time I polished my coffee table was over 4 years ago. It is not a household task that I enjoy doing but today it was better than working.

I have days like this. I'm not sure what causes them and I doubt that there is anything that I can to do eliminate or mitigate them. It is mid afternoon now and I am just now beginning to get back to my normal schedule. I still don't want to but I have nothing else to do. I can't watch daytime TV plus doing so makes me feel guilty, like I "should" be doing something. Maybe I should just take a "mental health day" and let it go. Tomorrow is another day and another opportunity to start attacking the tasks on my list, both for the art studio and the new consulting practice.

I keep reminding myself, consistent effort will get me to where I want to go. Consistently applying effort seems to be an issue. Maybe I just like to daydream. Maybe I don't have what it takes. Maybe I'm afraid of failure. Maybe I'm afraid of success. Honestly, however, I think this is a combination of impatience and avoidance of change, especially the kind of change that points me into a brand new direction.

God willing, I will have another opportunity tomorrow to try again.

Create Your Tools

2008-11-17T12:59:00.002-06:00

The past week I was reviewing the 22nd suggestion from Bruce Mau's "Incomplete Manifesto for Growth" which states "Make your own tools. Hybridize your tools in order to build unique things. Even simple tools that are your own can yield entirely new avenues of exploration. Remember, tools amplify our capacities, so even a small tool can make a big difference." I took tools to mean anything that I can used to aide me in my tasks. A pretty general definition.

I believe that this can be a very powerful act, making and using new tools. On the making of tools, this starts the creative process. I'm making a tool that didn't exist before. Pretty simple by itself but it sets my state of mind. Whatever I create with that tool is also brand new, a original creation, not ever before attempted. It is a step forward.

Changing to new tools also have a similar benefit. By switching tools, the mind acts differently. I can be performing the same task but because it is a new tool, I expect new things. I also typical get what I expect. New is good. Change it good. Movement is good.

I think this advice slips over into other not art related aspects of my life. By making "new tools" I define how I want to life. I indirectly define myself as well. And the simple act of changing from a pencil to a pen, changing tools, changes my perceptions of what I am writing. I can't erase pen. It feels more permanent, more important. I end up treating my writing with more importance and before I know it, my writing is better and is what? More important.

In the end, I see the recommendation of creating tools or using new ones as a metaphor for stepping out of the comfort zone and experience things differently.

This week I will examine "Stand on someone’s shoulders. You can travel farther carried on the accomplishments of those who came before you. And the view is so much better."

Lather, Rinse, Repeat

2008-11-10T13:48:00.002-06:00

This past week I examined the 21st recommendation from Bruce Mau's "Incomplete Manifesto for Growth" which states "Repeat yourself. If you like it, do it again. If you don’t like it, do it again."

As a few people know, I'm in the middle of series of 12 self portraits. They are more expressionistic than realistic. Regardless, it is lather, rinse, repeat. To keep myself from getting bored, I'll work on an abstract or "special project" to clear my mind. I am finishing up the 6th portrait by the end of this week. I believe the concept of repeating the process works.

Each of the 6 portraits are different. Some I like, some I don't. Some are more experimental in nature and some are more conservative in the approach I took. Regardless, there is a sense of sequential connection from one to the next. The portraits overall are becoming more complex in style and technique as well as expression. At first, I loathed the idea of repeating the same theme over and over again. But after doing this for 2.5 months, I am beginning to enjoy it. I can make small adjustments from one painting to the next. Over time, the adjustments add up to be major ones. I also noticed that portrait #6, the one nearing completion is a large step out from the others. As I continue the portraits, my confidence in creating them is growing. The result is I am comfortable being more expressive as well as taking more risks. I suspect I will make minor adjustment at this level for a few before the next major leap forward occurs again.

I guess that is my main take away from this suggestion. The fallout of repeating the process is not only confidence and proficiency but also the knowledge that in time, a major step forward will occur naturally and effortlessly. I also see this in other aspects of my person and professional life. This blog is a great example. This is my 60th posting. When I began blogging, I found it to be a chore. I rarely knew what I would write about and I was worried whether what I wrote was any good and would others read it. Now, I never struggle with find something to write about. I rarely edit the blog before publishing.

Another example is applying for gallery shows. Week in and week out, 5 to 10 submission go out. My submission are getting better and I'm am beginning to get responses.

Lather, rinse, repeat. I'm going to put it on a t-shirt.

This week I am looking at "Make your own tools. Hybridize your tools in order to build unique things. Even simple tools that are your own can yield entirely new avenues of exploration. Remember, tools amplify our capacities, so even a small tool can make a big difference."

Clear Confusion

2008-11-05T15:29:00.004-06:00

Although I am only half way through the week, it has been confusing and a bit frustrating on the professional and personal fronts. I had a very difficult time painting today. I felt blocked. I am blocked. Confusion is blocking me. Okay, to me honest I'm allowing confusion to block me but I haven't found the way to jump that wall yet.

When I feel frustrated, I can continue to work. I somehow can push the feelings aside and allow my creative side out. Confusion is a different animal. It feels like a fog. It permeates into every nook and cranny on my head and heart. I feel clumsy and stumble around, feeling way. This is also how I feel when I attempt to create, clumsy, foggy. I wasn't able today to return to paintings I had started earlier. I couldn't "see" what had to be done next. So I decided to move on to new paintings.

I had some blank boards lying around, already prepared. I set it up and was already to go. I stared at the blank black board. No image emerged. No colors emerged. Nothing but static. It reminded me of when I was a kid and we use an antenna to get TV reception. Some days the picture was clear and others filled with static so that I could barely make out the picture on the TV. Today was static. Needless to say, I didn't start the new painting.

I'll try again tomorrow. I'm hoping the forecast calls for a lifting fog and a clear day.

Be Careful to Take Risks

2008-11-03T14:28:00.002-06:00

This past week I was focusing on the latest suggestion from Bruce Mau's "Incomplete Manifesto for Growth" namely "Be careful to take risks. Time is genetic. Today is the child of yesterday and the parent of tomorrow. The work you produce today will create your future." I think this applies to nearly every aspect of my life, not just the creative side.

I recently read that most people use the incorrect definition of a goal, something that will be or will be achieved in the future. It went on to say that that isn't a goal as so much a result. The future state is the result of the goals and work we do today. Today is built on what was accomplished yesterday. Tomorrow with start off where we left off today. Therefore, day in and day out, we work little by little and over time we begin to see results. The goals are actually those smaller targets that we can accomplish today. For example, I have a goal that I will paint for at least 2 hours today, and again tomorrow and the day after that. If I hit my daily goals, I will have the results of producing the number of paintings of quality I want by the end of the month.

I also noticed two things that when I focus more on what I am doing today and not on what I want 3 months from now. First, it is harder to procrastinate. I have 5 tasks to do today. I either do them or I don't. If I don't, they are on the list tomorrow. They don't go away and they are still needed to be done if the results are going to be realized. The second thing I noticed is those grand results I want for myself are not so big and overwhelming when I break them down into smaller attainable daily tasks. With not being so overwhelming, the risks associated with the daily tasks are also not as scary. They even seem trivial at times. So simply by breaking things down and focus on today, I am able to no procrastinate and push things forward while also taking a few risks along the way. Remember, no risk, no reward.

My conclusion is that I should look everyday in my tasks for something that is a bit risky and do it. Doing so day after day will yield much larger results and give an intense sense of accomplishment. Most of all, I'll get what I want.

This week I am looking at the 21st recommendation from the "Incomplete Manifesto for Growth" which states "Repeat yourself. If you like it, do it again. If you don’t like it, do it again."

Vision

2008-10-28T13:20:00.000-05:00

Vision without action is merely a dream. Action without vision just passes the time. Vision with action can change the world.
-Joel Barker

Work the Metaphor, No Thanks

2008-10-27T13:10:00.002-05:00

Last week, from Bruce Mau's "Incomplete Manifesto for Growth" I reviewed "Work the metaphor. Every object has the capacity to stand for something other than what is apparent. Work on what it stands for." I have absolutely no idea what this means, what the suggestion is, how to apply it or how this relates to life or the creative process.

In fact, I couldn't disagree more with this recommendation. I believe to see things as they are and stop adding additional layers, fogging and confusing reality. Things are what they are. In there lies the beauty.

I will admit that many things have multiple meanings and playing these meanings off each other or using thing in unique and original ways will provide new and exciting results. But this still goes back to the meanings, what they truly are. Metaphors are traps to avoid being direct. If you have something to say, say it. No sugar coating.

I do not find this suggestion helpful or productive. Just the opposite. Just say what you want to say. It is what it is.

This week, I will examine "Be careful to take risks. Time is genetic. Today is the child of yesterday and the parent of tomorrow. The work you produce today will create your future.

A Day of Life

2008-10-26T14:35:00.003-05:00

To wake up in the morning and be excited.

To feel good.

To feel my body alive—the energy flowing—

Propelling forward effortlessly to take action.

To have purpose.

To be connected.

To love—be loved—to love myself.

To want each day never to end.

To love life.

To want to be alive.

To smile—to laugh—to eat---to sleep.

To breathe each breath and relish it.

To taste life with each swallow.

To live.

To never find something not to be grateful for.

To be me!

--Devlyn Steele

Just a Little Faith

2008-10-23T11:39:00.003-05:00

I was having lunch with a friend yesterday and he began discussing my decision to give up my full time corporate job to pursue art. It surprised me that 7 months into my "new life" that people are still talking about it. He went on and on about how much confidence I must have, especially in my abilities. He saw my change as courageous.

I don't want to discount his opinion as I took it as a big compliment. But, I never saw it that way before. I still don't. I didn't have confidence in my artist abilities at the time. I didn't have confidence that my plan would work nor that I wasn't making the biggest mistake of my life. It was painful. I made my decision in October to pull the trigger in the end of March. I had many, many sleepless nights and near panic attacks over my decision. I almost backed out of it or modified the plan to make it "easier." Now, I'm glad I didn't.

What I did have, however, was faith. I believed in my heart of hearts that regardless of the fear and anxiety that I was experiencing, I would be okay. I had no idea where I would end up (and I still don't) but that ambiguity was where the adventure began. I believed that with a daily focus on my art work, my art would mature to a place where I would be proud to sign it. My signature went from being on the back, to a small signature on the front to now a large, clear signature in a prominent location. Evidence of my pride in my work. I knew that as my work improved, sales would follow. I knew that I would get better creating. I knew that I could take care of myself and I knew that there is always another corporate job waiting me. Maybe not like the one I had but I wasn't going to starve or be living on the streets. I held on to my faith. Several days, I quoted the Little Engine That Could, "I know I can, I know I can." The strangest things popped into my head to keep my moving forward. Since the concept of changing careers seemed reasonable, at the time, albeit nontraditional and risky, I couldn't see a reason to pass up one more opportunity like I had in the past. I dove in, eyes shut tight!

I am happy to say I haven't starved and my work has matured and improved. Pieces are selling. In addition, other avenues to make money have appeared and I am pursuing them. These options were not open to me when I held a full time job. Again, they are nontraditional in nature. I can't, nor do I want, to follow convention anymore. Having faith that everything will turn out for the best even on those days when everything looks hopeless and doubt is circling like vultures is the priceless key to moving out of the box. I am very grateful I took the chance on myself. There is a whole world outside the box. And my art is reflecting that world back out as I experience it.

The next time an opportunity arises, even though I may be hesitant or feel a bit fearful of the uncertainty of it all, I simply have to remember to take a deep breath and have faith that I will not only handle what life may throw at me, but I'll end up thriving as a result of it. Good luck!

Stay Up Late

2008-10-20T18:11:00.002-05:00

This past week I was examining the latest suggestion from Bruce Mau's "Incomplete Manifesto for Growth" which reads "Stay up late. Strange things happen when you’ve gone too far, been up too long, worked too hard, and you're separated from the rest of the world."

I agree that strange and often wonderful things occur when I'm separated from the world. No argument. But I don't believe you have to stay up and create in the middle of the night to have it happen. I have been working for the past few months at discovering an optimal work/life schedule for me. At first I threw out the corporate schedule I was use to. I then when to a very open, relaxed, unstructured schedule. Honestly, it was boring. I accomplished some but not enough and it didn't help my creativity. I talk a good game but I'm not a free spirit at heart. I soon realized that I work well in structure, just not a rigid corporate structure. I thrived when I set aside certain time periods for certain tasks. For example, I try to paint between 10am and 1pm for at least 2 hours daily. I have 3 hours in the afternoon which are designated to various projects and tasks depending on the day of the week. The rest of the time is left open for whatever else I want to do that day or what I believe has to get done. My productivity has soared.

So then I came to this recommendation to stay up. I recoiled at the idea as I had just found a good schedule that fits me like a glove with minimal stress and pretty good results. And in order to maintain the schedule, my sleep patterns had to be set in advanced. I'm a bit crabby if I don't get enough sleep.

Thinking about the recommendation more, I decided to go after the intent, namely, separate myself from the world. I could do that by temporarily change my schedule. Simply by moving my painting time to the afternoon one day, it would throw me off and let's see what would happen. Nothing happened, literally. I was the most unproductive I have ever been since I began my adventure as an artist. It could have been the day I chose for the experiment or the idea of simply moving my schedule around was flawed. I think the idea was flawed.

There may be something behind the recommendation to stay up and separate. I don't know. It is in contrast to everything that I know to work well. This is one suggestion I cannot stand behind without throwing out my schedule. I doubt the payback is enough to do so. I do recommend however, if you can, to find ways to detach and separate yourself. Creativity is about reaching inside, it is a solitary experience.

This week, I will review the next suggestion "Work the metaphor. Every object has the capacity to stand for something other than what is apparent. Work on what it stands for."

Late Bloomer

2008-10-17T15:24:00.002-05:00

My friend Nancy sent me a link to a New Yorker article (http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2008/10/20/081020fa_fact_gladwell?printable=true) which talks about the differnces between a artisty prodigy and a late bloomer. I encourage you to read it.

I often consider myself a late bloomer artistically speaking. I didn't really get the calling until my late 30's and by that point I had had several careers of varying levels of success. The path I was on could have easily provided me with a stable, comfortable life. Then I began painting. I painted my first portrait, of my grandfather, the day I heard he was terminally sick. Although this painting is immature in many ways, it reminds me of the emotions I had that day. And it shows. For that, the painting is not for sale.

I continued painting for years on the side as a hobby. The hobby began to take over my thoughts. The urge to create became large. I found corporate jobs that allowed me to create more with my desk job but with time, I no longer found that satisfying. I had to break out on my own, in more ways than one. In Fall of 2008, I found myself alone in the middle of Madrid, a city I had dreamt of visiting since my first day of Spanish class in high school. It was a dream come true. It was also incredible lonely. My Spanish sucked. And even though I was attending classes all day long, my language abilities could not progress fast enough. I spent most of the time alone, no conversation.

Admitting to myself that I probably would not be hitting the nightlife in Madrid, I went to the incredible museums the city has to offer. The modern art museum housed collections of some of my favorite paintings such as Picasso, Miró, Gris, Dalí, etc. I stared for an hour at "Guerneca" by Picasso. I wanted to do that. I looked at it closer. I eventually began to walk back to my hotel with the paintings racing through my head. This is what I wanted to do. No doubts at all. Then all the insecurities hit circling the one fateful question, "How?"

So the plan was set and has been activated since then. Today is one year after my trip to Spain. I'm painting full time but not yet selling in large quantities. I'm looking for a balance between working as a consultant to feed my stomach and working as an artist to feel my soul. I know it will all work out in the end and the end isn't point. It is the process of creating and re-creating time and again is what I am looking forward to.

Just a Rainy Day

2008-10-15T16:03:00.004-05:00

My allergies are flaring up, the weather is rainy and gloomy, and it has been an overly quiet day. It is now 4pm and I have not spoken to another human being. Normally I would become concerned that I am heading down the path to being a hermit but I just sat down at Starbucks and will be ordering a drink soon. My vow of silence will be broken.

In spite of all of this, I found that I was very productive and creative this morning. I have three paintings going at the moment. Nothing new there. But I noticed that I was intimately involved with each one today. As I focused on one, the others nearly disappeared from my consciousness. My world narrowed immensely and all I saw, all I thought about was the painting in front of me. In addition, the next step I wanted to take with each one become crystal clear. I was excited by it, elated. This took me by surprise since I woke up a bit crabby and bad allergies. I just didn't feel well and was suspecting today would be a less than productive day. Not the case.

I moved on the the second painting. Working away, I got a bit carried away and I overshot the result I was looking for. Resin can have a mind of it's own. It continued to flow even after I stopped working with it. So, I am now heading in an unknown and unexpected direction. The last time that happened I ended up finding a new technique.

The third painting is lacking emotion, my emotion. It shows. It is an attempt to satisfy the home decor market. I may be selling out here. I'm not being completely true to myself. One of these days I'll learn to relax and just paint my style without worrying about future sales. Art is not a product. Treating it as a product zapped the life out of it. In the meantime, I'll continue this piece and see where it may lead. Regardless, I'm enjoying creating it.

So, for what I thought would be a quiet day turned out to be very enlightening, productive and a bit adventurous. The day isn't over yet. Perhaps there is more to come.

Keep it Blank

2008-10-13T13:07:00.003-05:00

This past week I was reviewing the 17th suggestion from Bruce Mau's "Incomplete Manifesto for Growth" which reads "____________________.
Intentionally left blank. Allow space for the ideas you haven’t had yet, and for the ideas of others."

At first, I didn't know what to think of this recommendation or how to incorporate it into my creative life, or life in general for that matter. I was looking for a specific suggestion. Then, I thought that I had to find a new suggestion to fill in the blank. I wasn't in the mood to come up with a new recommendation. Plus, it seemed counter to the feeling of the manifesto in general. So, I put it aside like I often do and come back to it later.

I didn't think about it that much in the sense of coming up with a new recommendation. My thoughts kept circling around the idea of being open to new things, ideas, situations, people, etc. Several times I caught myself in a creative brainstorming session, imagining new styles, the techniques that they would require and as well as new methods for getting my name out there and selling my work. The analogy that I began to use was this. My mind was a blank chalk board, completely clean. I would get distracted and focus on something else. Then, when I came back, it would be covered with writing, in my handwriting. Yet, I don't recall writing any of it. I would take in all the new concepts and ideas and erase the board. Something would then distract me again. When I came back, again, more handwriting. The process would continue. It even began to leech into my dreams. Ideas and new approaches were coming at me left and right 24 hours a day as long as I kept and open mind and didn't force it.

So, for me, I'm keeping this recommendation blank. The more blank I am, the more content seems to develop.

This week, I will look at the 18th recommendation, namely, "Stay up late. Strange things happen when you’ve gone too far, been up too long, worked too hard, and you're separated from the rest of the world."

Art for Sale

2008-10-10T15:48:00.002-05:00

It is that time of year again. I got my flu shot this afternoon. I figured that I had to do it. Now more than ever I must take care of myself. With all the changes occurring in the world, I rationalized that the only way I can be a successful artist and a successful small businessman (all artists are small businesses) I will need to work smarter, maybe a little harder or longer hours, and definitely work to a higher level of quality. That means I want to avoid being sick or run down.

I had one of my inspiring afternoons in the process. I walked to the pharmacy that was selling the flu shots. I walked for the exercise, because it is a beautiful autumn day in Chicago (and winter is around the corner), and to be more green. It was a 25 minute walk to the pharmacy. All the way there, the current economic crisis was going through my head. In addition, and what I thought was more important, I was thinking about how I am going to "survive" the crisis. Questions like "how much money will I lose?" or "who will buy my paintings?" or "should I get a second job?" I try not to worry about things I can't control, like the economy and once I reminded myself of that, the answers to my questions became clear. Yes, I will lose a lot of money. Someone will buy my buy my paintings eventually. And probably, I will get a second job to put my mind at ease. Seemed easy. Worry was gone.

I got the shot. It hurt more than usual. I stopped off for a coffee for the walk home. I got a medium and I'm still drinking it. I'm not use to this amount of caffeine. I decided to take a different route home. A bit longer. I found it odd that I decided to take a longer route home since I had a number of things I wanted to accomplish yet today. I was feeling motivated by the fact I no long have to worry about the economy. I'm sure there are millions of people out there willing to do that for me. With the sun in my face and a cool breeze periodically blowing across the street, I began to receive images again. I didn't only receive one or two. I saw complete series. Two of them in fact. Both building on my current series but completely different at the same time. The images came quietly and remained in my thoughts until the next one arrived. I continued this process the entire walk home. I was a bit of a zombie. I walked home on autopilot while image after image became mine.

As cool of an experience it was, it was also frustrating. I have yet to set up my space or processes sufficiently to take on this number of pieces that I now what to do. Part of me fears that I will sink all this time, energy and money into creating all this art for it to pile up in the already full closet. It may be time for me to shrug off these fears, work on my craft, create these images that were so graciously given to me, and be an artist. After all, there will be someone out there who will buy my art, no matter what the stock market is doing.

Excuses, excuses

2008-10-08T14:10:00.002-05:00

I woke up this morning not feeling very creative. I did however wake up with tons of excuses. I woke up late because it is Fall and the sun rises later. I didn't do my complete workout at the gym because it was getting late and I was a bit tired. Allergies you know. I didn't paint very long this morning because I just wasn't in the mood. On and on. All excuses. I didn't realize to this afternoon how many seemingly little things I rationalize away, all those things I don't do but should do to get the results I want and all those things I do do but should because they have results I don't want. What a trap I have created for myself.

I've been an artist long enough that there are days when I don't feel especially creative or in the mood. But not long after I begin my creative process, my mood changes and the creativity comes to me. It happens whether I want it to happen or not, as long as I do it. Creating almost always puts me into a good mood. So why do I allow myself to wiggly out of it? All those small reasons aren't reasons at all. Just excuses.

Here is another curious thing I notice today related to all of this. Three times a week I blog. I have it in my to do list. It happens even when I don't know what I am going to write about, which is often. Yet, there have been only a few days where I didn't blog. I determined that blog was important for me to do so I do it. But when it comes to my art, I haven't set aside time when creating is my priority. So it makes it easy to make excuses and not follow through. Yet this is what I want to do and I know that what I produce gets better and better each day. My best work is the work I start tomorrow. But, I don't give my work the priority and the energy that is needed to succeed. Paintings don't paint themselves. I paint them. So why do I allow myself to make excuses not to paint?

Many of my person and professional goals are dependent on me painting, producing paintings, producing good art and then selling it. Since this is at the core from which everything else is dependent, it is imperative that I give my art the respect, time and priority is deserves. Simply by creating an additional hour a day would have a order of magnitude difference in everything else that I do. I guess, no, I know that my challenge is to focus more, makes excuses less, and do those things that will have the greatest impact. In my case, that is painting. No more excuses.

Collaborate

2008-10-06T15:41:00.002-05:00

This past week, I was looking at the 16th recommendation from Bruce Mau's "Incomplete Manifesto for Growth" which reads "Collaborate. The space between people working together is filled with conflict, friction, strife, exhilaration, delight, and vast creative potential."

What I experienced is that we don't live in a vacuum. Without interacting with others, emotion begins to drain out of our lives. Without emotion, any creation will lack emotion. Emotionless art is lifeless, boring, uninspiring, uninspired. There is a heat or passion that can spark between lovers. There is anger and sadness that develops in a fight. There is joy and happiness that exists when love and acceptance are shown and given. All of these emotions and many others gives us energy. That energy can be transferred into our creations. I believe it is the art that contains within it energy, aka emotions, is the art that elicits the greatest response from others. Everyone wants to feel alive, energized.

So my suggestion to put this recommendation into practice is to go out and have real relationships with people. I was going to use the word authentic instead of real but that came too close to what my therapist would say. I, as an artist, cannot express myself if I'm not clear on what I'm feeling and want to express. Likewise, if I'm not feeling, I cannot express myself. Feelings get triggered by interacting with others, by living a life. Go forth and experience. Try something new. Call someone. Do something. And if you are afraid to do so, great! Tell someone and watch your creativity flow.

This week I will look at "____________________. Intentionally left blank. Allow space for the ideas you haven’t had yet, and for the ideas of others.

Stay in the Game

2008-10-03T13:57:00.002-05:00

Another week is coming to an end. My detail work plan was not followed to the letter but many more elements were incorporated into my work day. My art pieces are still moving at a snail pace but the business aspect is getting more attention than before.

I am a bit defeated. I had two shows in September and no sales. One gallery asked to keep my work up for another month. They seem to be working a bit harder to sell my art. That is why I'm paying them a commission. So, I'm encouraged by this.

Overall, I'm still optimistic. The art path is not a straight line and seems to be taking me in directions I hadn't expected. That is good, or I at least finally came to that conclusion. Sometimes that unexpected are the best and most rewarding surprises.

I'm still feeling pressure about money. All self induced. But, in time that will alleviate itself. I will make money somehow without it negatively impacting my desire to spend as much time as I can creating art. One step builds on the last. Consistency is the key to this game. It may be the key to any game. Stay in the game, keep playing and sooner or later, things will pop.

Which Way Do I Go?

2008-10-01T12:49:00.003-05:00

For a few weeks know I have been struggling with the concept of being able to support myself with my art work. I haven't sold much lately even with two gallery shows. In addition, many who had doubts about my decision be focus on art as a living have been more vocal lately, spurring me to second guess myself. I often read in blogs and advice for artist websites the suggestion of not quiting your day job. Well I did, six month ago. All together has lead me to where I am now, wondering if I can make a living at this. I have self doubt.

When I first quit my corporate job, I was very gunho and full of optimism. I could paint the next masterpiece and conquer the world. So when the naysayers came knocking I could block their negative ideas or ignore them altogether. I could build myself up. Over time however, my resolve has weakened. I'm getting hit harder and more frequently by the naysayers. There are cracks in my force field. Plus I can only seem to pull myself up so high now. Not as high and strong as I was before. I'm feeling more pragmatic, or at least that how I am rationalizing my second guessing.

So here is my dilemma. On one hand, I know some just don't get it. They don't understand what I want or what I am trying to do. That is okay. They don't have to. As an artist, one of my jobs is to stretch myself and others. Change is hard to accept and often initially ridiculed, especially if it is visionary or radical. I see my purpose to help others see things differently. Some don't want to see things differently. I can work around them.

On the other hand, we live in a highly materialist society. Money rules. I am finding it hard to separate myself from this. I lived in this world for so long and I have a standard of living that I am accustomed to that I want to maintain. Therefore, I want a certain amount of money to make that happen. My art isn't supplying this at the moment. I can make the money I want if I sacrifice some of the time I have dedicated to my art and put it back into the corporate agenda. Part of me sees this as selling out. Part of me sees it as failing at being an artist. And part of me tells me I need more time to develop my craft and I should be will to do whatever it takes to make it happen, even if that means temporarily going back into a corporate life.

So, here I am. I have some doubt and some confusion on the best route forward. I know that I must stay the course to make my dream of being a self supporting working artist a reality. Creating art and showing it to others makes me happy. There may be some detours. There may be some wrong turns. I may even have to back track now and then. I guess, ultimately, it is a question of how badly I want this and am I willing to do the work to make it happen. If I can remain focus on my goal, I hope that I can stay true to the goal in spite of the naysayers and my own second guessing. If I stay true, the money will come.

Stupid Questions

2008-09-29T13:53:00.003-05:00

This past week I was looking at "Ask stupid questions. Growth is fueled by desire and innocence. Assess the answer, not the question. Imagine learning throughout your life at the rate of an infant," from Bruce Mau's "Incomplete Manifesto for Growth." On the surface, this seemed like a fairly simple suggestion. In reality, I found it extremely difficult to apply or see the positive impact I wanted to receive.

All throughout my career in the corporate world, I heard and said that the only dumb questions are the ones not asked. I'm sure many dumb questions are never asked everyday of the work week. Who wants to be that person? I have even heard the preface "this may be a dumb question but..." It takes the edge off a bit or just lets the world know that I don't see the value in the question I'm asking. But at least it was asked and it was out there. More often than not, the stupid questions generate a healthy discussion and may influence the final outcomes decisions. That is the point, growth.

In a creative capacity, I spend most of my working day alone. I may have had a stupid question but there was no one immediately near to ask. Hence my issue. To ask a stupid question, I have to suspend my ego and self criticism and ask the question. But I also wanted some to ask. That was at first. In addition, I found myself searching and searching for stupid questions. I was forcing it. That wasn't helpful either. Just as with art, when it is forced, it shows.

As the week progressed and I continued to look at the suggestion that I post weekly on my wall near my computer as a reminder, I started talking to myself. Since the wine was safely corked in the kitchen, I figured I was losing my mind or I was lonely. I don't think it was either case actually. I was looking for someone to hear and possibly answer my stupid questions and I found someone, me.

Many of the times my questions arose were when I was procrastinating or I felt I had a hurdle in front of me. I asked the question and I answered it. I often smiled and/or chuckled because, well, I was talking to myself aloud and my questions were stupid and the answers were equally crazy. It did however break the self made tension over the roadblock I was facing. I immediately was able and did breakthrough. On a few occasions, my answers were dump and I gave myself some insight, both in how I think and feel, but possibly how things may work around me. Regardless of which situation, the end result was action, movement and energy, all with a smile on my face. Once I got past the notion that I was feeling stupid doing this at all, I found this to be a liberating exercise.

This week, I will examine the next suggestions in the "Incomplete Manifesto for Growth" by Bruce Mau which is "Collaborate. The space between people working together is filled with conflict, friction, strife, exhilaration, delight, and vast creative potential."

Don't Worry, Be Creative

2008-09-26T13:57:00.003-05:00

The current economic crisis in the US got me thinking about what is happening, how it go to this level, what and how are addressing it and how all of it may or will impact me now and in the future. That's a lot to think about in addition to all my day to day stuff and my daily attempt to create a masterpiece. Throw in my disillusionment of the current presidential election and my head is swimming with thoughts, mostly negative. This is toxic. It is poison to my general well being and it is deadly for creative ideas.

I woke up this morning on the wrong side of the bed. I mean negative, not on the left. I wasn't in a bad mood per se but I was carrying a feeling of despair. It was a heavy feeling. I was unable to work. The creative flow was avoiding me, or rather, I was probably pushing it away. I had other things that I had to do so I shifted my focus. I also started thinking about the economic crisis, as it is being referred to. Can I can control or influence it? Has any of my actions been to blame for it? I concluded that this situation is out of my control. Therefore it is pointless and a waste of time and energy for me to worry about it. I can influence it, or at least its impact on me, indirectly. I made sure that my investments were as sounds as possible given what I know today. Am I to fault? I don't think so. I don't have bad credit. I pay my bills. I don't have a mortgage I can't afford. And I don't give credit to those who are over their heads for whatever reason. I will in the future watch my investments closer so that I invest in companies that do not put money over people in the future. All of this was the rant in my head as I went about doing stuff half ass.

I noticed something after I decided that I wasn't going to worry about this and I would be just fine as this works itself out. My mood lifted and my creative urge returned. I also have a boost in energy as well. I wonder how many other times I have held on to things, ideas, concepts, issues that didn't involve me but yet I took them on. This is definitely an energy drain. A creativity drain as well. Doing my own thing with the confidence that I will handle whatever comes my way so far seems to be the biggest push for my creative side. Non-creative types may not fully understand what I'm talking about today but I'll let them worry about that.

;-)

Self Accountability & Time Management

2008-09-24T15:15:00.004-05:00

Two themes have cropped up for me over the past few days, self accountability and time management. Both I believe are interconnected, or at least can me. I find my "to do list" increasing in length while the number of items I scratch off are fewer and fewer. I'm procrastinating and seemingly wasting time, or better put, focusing on things that are not addressing the items on my list. I'm doing something. I'm just not doing the "right" things. I'm not painting as much as I want to. I'm not arranging gallery exhibits as often as I like. I'm not doing the necessary admin work that any business naturally has. These are just a few examples.

I did some research. One suggestion was to make a weekly plan and assign myself someone to be accountable to. I didn't like that idea. It doesn't really solve the core issue of SELF accountability. It makes me accountable to someone else (like having a boss) but this person has no authority. There are still no repercussions for non action. I'm interested in setting a plan and following through with or without anyone one there looking over my shoulder. I haven't found the answer yet.

The other topic of time management which I feel lately has slipped from me has numerous gurus out there. People earn livings by assisting others with time management. The best suggestion I have heard lately is to stop the multitasking that we have all heard about and most attempt to do. Instead, become single taskers. The idea is to set a portion of time aside, say 1 hour. That hour is dedicated to one and only one task. That is the focus for that time period. No email, no phone calls, no Internet surfing, no online chat, no cleaning, nothing but focus on the task. Easier said than done. Even while writing I have caught myself checking email a few times. I can see however that but establishing focus time, I can work without distraction and move things forward. The trick I think is remaining without distractions.

When the time is up. Stop, take a small break, allow the distractions back in for a short time. I don't believe I can keep them at bay for the entire day. Then, set the clock, pick another task, and focus. I may view this as a game. How long can I focus? I suspect over time this will become habitual. As I recently heard, it isn't how many ideas I have nor projects I'm working on. It is what gets completed that actually yields results. For a given time period, select the priority and finish it. Do in this repeatedly and consistently will develop the self accountability I am looking for.

Don't Be Cool

2008-09-22T14:04:00.003-05:00

This past week, I was playing with the idea of "Don’t be cool.
Cool is conservative fear dressed in black. Free yourself from limits of this sort." from Bruce Mau's "Incomplete Manifesto for Growth."

At first I didn't have much to say about this one. I interpreted it to mean be myself. Okay, seems easy enough but what does that really mean? Being cool is like being politically correct. I don't know if the Fonz would agree with me. I censor myself for the benefit of others due to fear or as a self defense mechanism. But what exactly am I protecting myself from by not being myself? Criticism, judgement, ridicule, praise, honor, recognition. These are all actions or attitudes others bestow upon me. These are energetic emotions, positive and negative coming my way originating from others.

Here's the tricky part. If I bestow these actions myself, for myself, on myself, I am the origin of the energy for my benefit. I take out the middle man. But being cool will keep me from doing this. Why? In some circles, it isn't cool to do your own thing. But, the energy I generate from doing my own thing is the very energy I need and use to propel me forward, to take risks, to create. Being the uncool self I am gives me strength to be more uncool. The more uncool, the more unique I am. The more unique I am, the more energetic and the original my creations, artistic or otherwise, become.

The funny part is that down deep, everyone is basically the same, uncool. Any yet admitting it and showing our uncool side is not as common as it could be. There are those we all know that are so uncool, they are actually cool. We admire them for their independence and individuality. I suppose my final assessment is I want to recognize when I am doing or saying something because that is truly was I want, feel or think versus doing something to attain a reaction from another.

This week I will examine "Ask stupid questions. Growth is fueled by desire and innocence. Assess the answer, not the question. Imagine learning throughout your life at the rate of an infant."

Now vs Ideals

2008-09-19T15:30:00.003-05:00

This week I experienced a roller coaster of emotions which resulted in a roller coaster in activity and creativity levels. Emotionally, I was higher than high and a day a two, rather down and blue. As one would expect, my activity level was higher when I was in a good mood up to a point. When I was in a super good mood, my activity level nose dived even though my energy was high. I was unable to focus and concentrate on any one thing for a duration of time. Likewise, when I was down, my activity level was still good until I started to feel myself slip into a more sad state. Then again, my activity level crashed.

So during extreme states, activity was not present regardless of my level of energy. However, in these extreme states, my creativity soared. Idea after idea, image after image came to me. It was as if I could tap the "flow" easier when I was experiencing raw emotional states no matter what the emotion was. That was interesting but didn't really surprise me. The surprising part is the images and ideas I received were not reflective of my emotional state at the time. I didn't necessarily receive happy images when I was happy, nor sad images when I was sad. The ideas I had seemed to reflect my feelings toward something, not my mood in general. Fortunately, I was able to remember and be inspired by most of the ideas. I didn't lose many of them going about my day to day activities.

I was going to say that now my problem is having enough time to create the ideas that have/do come to me. That isn't completely true. I have more time than I utilize. My stumbling block is starting, and continuing to work on them. Starting in particular is the hard part. I have a fear that I won't be able to create or do justice to the idea. Instead of using the idea as a starting point, a source of inspiration, I often look up to the idea as the art itself. It isn't. It is only and idea. I compare my creations to the ideas in my head. And if my creation falls short, and is most likely would since the ideas are just that, ideas, I become critical and judgemental. I put myself down as well. And hence, I'm resistant to begin.

I have another fear before I begin. A completely irrational one. I might actually create what I am imagining or create something even better. Then what? I have to do it again, and then again. I put tons of pressure on myself on the final product before I even begin. These fears linked to beginning a project are real and yet useless. I'm focusing on what it can be, could be, should be, might be, instead of focusing on the moment and what it is. Once I catch myself "obsessing" on the future, an imaginary future at that, I can at times bring myself back. Once I do, my level of activity increases. I have to be vigilant. I drift off often and then have to bring myself back. The concept of suspending judgement I find is a good tool to indicate when I'm drifting. If I'm judging, I'm comparing.

The less I compare, the more I tend to live in the moment, albeit if only for seconds or minutes at a time. The more I'm in the moment, the more the ideas come even when my emotions are all over the board.

Slow Down

2008-09-15T15:00:00.004-05:00

This past week, I was looking at thirteenth suggestion from Bruce Mau's "Incomplete Manifesto for Growth" which is "Slow down.
Desynchronize from standard time frames and surprising opportunities may present themselves."

I found desynchronizing from standard time frames difficult, another example of my corporate brainwashing influencing my thinking. But, what I was able to do and witness was very interesting. I have continued to wake up without an alarm. For the first month, I woke up at the same time give or take 10 minutes. But on those occasions when I woke up on the later side, I would panic a bit, tell myself I'm late and fly out of bed. The remainder of the morning I felt rushed and behind schedule. Why? I didn't miss an appointment and at the end of the day everything I wanted to accomplish (truly wanted to accomplish) was completed. So the sense of rushing just added to aggravation of the day, no to its level of productivity. This past week, I have been waking up nearly an hour later than last month. The more I contain my knee jerk reaction to rush around to "make up time", the more easy my day goes, the things I do, and the more I enjoy doing them, instead of resenting the chores on my to do list.

Another way I have been attempting to disconnect from standard time frames is noticing that I don't have to paint daily. Some days I push paintings forward, some days I don't. If I attempt to push them on days when I'm not "feeling it", those are the days where the paintings are lifeless and boring. When I feel it, the paintings are more bold, I take chances, I experiment and I allow the paintings to evolve naturally.

This takes me to my final observation on the subject (for now). Standard time frames, as they are called, are not of my creation. I did not decide what these standard time frames are nor did I have any input. Any yet, I felt that I was expected to comply, uphold, and work within the standard time frames. No. I think these are guides. I cannot say that standard time frames work for me or not. I haven't experimented enough with the concept but these are ideas thrust upon me. The expectations of others. The only expectation that I agree to adhere to is if I have arranged a meeting with others at a certain time. That is a time frame that all parties involved negotiated. Outside of that, time is mine when it comes to my stuff. Others may see me moving slowly, others quickly. Ultimately however, it is up to me to decide whether I am moving slowly or quickly and if that is okay for the moment.

Overall I have noticed that in the six months that I have been a full time artist, my daily schedule has slowly drifted later in the day. My day now starts a full 2-2.5 hours later than it use to. I'm also more productive, more creative and happier. As long a possible, I will allow schedules and time frames to continue to be fluid and morph as necessary. Especially now knowing that I accomplish more in a less structured environment.

This week I will look at "Don’t be cool. Cool is conservative fear dressed in black. Free yourself from limits of this sort."

Love, Sexuality and Creativity

2008-09-10T16:42:00.003-05:00

Over the past few weeks, I noticed that the theme of love, sexuality and creativity has come up in conversation several times. The first time I just thought that it was an interesting collection of items that someone considered linked. But when it continued to present itself, I figured I should think about it some.

On the surface, I had a difficult time understanding how these three items were connected. Each seemingly can function on its own. And I think they can. But I also believe there is one element that is present in each, passion. Passion in the sense of an outburst of strong emotion or feeling. All three, love, sexuality and creativity are the result of some form of emotional outburst, an overflow, a extension beyond myself.

So what does it mean in practical terms that these things are somehow linked? I think the point is they are not practical, nor safe. These are the results of and the source of emotional outbursts. For love or sexuality or creativity to exist and continue to exist, continual emotional extensions are necessary. That is to say, they are all forms of sharing myself with others. With that, these items have another component in common, vulnerability. Any instance of exposing myself comes with it a sense of vulnerability, whether I'm accustomed to it or not. The result of expressing myself with the vulnerability is either love, sexuality or creativity, or possibly all three. So, I may be concerned how others may react to what I have to say (the vulnerability part) but I still have to say it (the extension part). Piece by piece, over time, by doing this, I think love, sexuality and creativity will grow and flourish allowing these items to survive independent of each other and supportive of each other.

I'm going to look for examples of this in my life and report back.

Chicago AIDS Walk/Run Donations

2008-09-09T14:05:00.002-05:00

Donate Here

I will be participating in the 2008 AIDS Run & Walk Chicago. Please support my efforts by making a pledge or joining me to stomp out AIDS on Saturday, September 20, 2008 at this critical event in Grant Park. By making a pledge to me, you help support more than 150 Chicagoland organizations whose work is so critical in the fight against HIV/AIDS. You can also sign up to walk or run with me! Register Now!

Keep Moving

2008-09-08T14:13:00.005-05:00

This past week I was playing with the idea "Keep moving. The market and its operations have a tendency to reinforce success. Resist it. Allow failure and migration to be part of your practice," from Bruce Mau's "Incomplete Manifesto for Growth." At first, I found it confusing. I didn't understand the idea of resisting reinforced success. I became clearer as the week progressed.

Several weeks ago I decided to set a goal for myself. I am working on a series of self portraits using my newly discovered resin techniques. The final series will consist of 12 images (I want to produce a calendar) so there is the possibility I may create more than 12 images depending on how many work and how many don't. The objective of the series is to examine and document how my technique, composition and theme of the images reflect how I see myself, my moods and feelings over time. I don't know what to expect except 12 amazing images.

I finished the first image. IT WAS AWFUL. I refuse to sign it so far in attempt to refuse ownership. I began the second image and it was progressing along the similar path as the first albeit a bit more aesthetically pleasing. And then it happened. I made a mistake. What do to, what to do. In keeping with the week's challenge, and many of the concepts addressed previously, I continued working. I chalked it up to a learning experience and perhaps I would get the third image right. More mistakes. The images was turning quickly into a bad direction. I stepped back and considered leaving it and beginning a new one. But, I decided I would continue and finish the piece like I finished the first one. I wanted to suspend judgement. I thought I had. I really didn't.

I was sitting on the floor looking at the image examining all the "flaws" when I began thinking of ways to cover the flaws or integrating the mistakes into the image. Then, the mistakes would no longer be mistakes, or at least that is how I rationalized it. I had nothing to lose. I didn't like the image as is so this would be an experiment of sorts. Instead of walking away, I continued to work the piece. I addressed one of the earlier mistakes. The "fix" integrated nicely and yielded a new look, one I had not considered previously. Feeling a bit more energized and positive, I address the new one. Again, I judged the result positive. Then the "flow" hit me and I was applying the "fix" to the entire image, reshaping it, redefining it. At a point, something inside me told me to stop and step back. When I returned a few hours later, I was pleasantly surprised with what I saw. The image had emotion. My emotion. It may not look like me but I was definitely represented.

If I had not continued working, I would have continued to do the same thing over and over again on future painting, which was not giving me what I wanted. However, when I accepted the mistakes and then worked with them, instead of letting them work against me, I got more than I had imagined. Not only was the image heading in a new and better direction, I was energized to move in a new and better direction as well.

This week I will look at "Slow down. Desynchronize from standard time frames and surprising opportunities may present themselves." Talk about challenging my corporate brainwashing...

Art Exhibit Opening

2008-09-06T11:13:00.003-05:00

Last night I had a Opening Reception for a group show I was participating in. It doesn't seem to matter how many shows I have done in the past, I'm still excited, anxious and nervous at the same time. It is fun to see my work hanging on a wall other than mine own. There is a sense of validation that my art is "good enough" to be on display and sold. In addition, that is a part of me on the wall, sometimes a raw part of me. So I also feel rather vulnerable at the same time. I want people to like my work. I want people to buy it. If they do like it and buy it, I feel pressure, albeit self induced, to do create good art again. Or even better pieces. So exhibits can be a mixed bag of emotions.

I also noticed that the idea of developing a thick skin to handle the inevitable criticism is a balancing act. If my skin is thick so negative judgements bounce right off, I may not hear the opportunities to improve going forward. Some specific criticism is a good thing. But also, more importantly, the praise and positive support from others also will bounce off if my skin is too thick. There is an optimal skin thickness to let in the positive and keep out the negative. It is kind of like wearing sunscreen at the beach. I want to feel the sun, but I don't want to get burned. Sometimes it works, and sometimes I miss a spot when applying the sunscreen and end up with a red mark for a few days. Art exhibits are very similar. I checked this morning. No red spots, no bruises.

I also find myself comparing my work to that of other artists. This, although completely natural, is also a waste of time and energy. If an artist, any artist, is being true and honest to themselves and their craft, their work by definition will be unique. That is the point. A unique perspective, in approach, content and delivery. It is comparing apples to oranges. I now try to admire other people's work and not to compare.

Overall the opening went well. I had many, many people come out to support me. I also noticed many people off the streets stopping and discussing my art work. (I always keep an eye out for which works tend to capture people's attention.) I'm very happy with the way the evening turned out. And thank you to all those who supported me (present or not).

Now, on to the next show...

I Expect Everything

2008-09-03T15:24:00.002-05:00

Grey day, grey mood, too many unrealistic expectations. This is how I started the day. I was recently brought to my attention that I have many expectations regarding things about which I have no control. This would include other people's behavior, likes and dislikes, or events that are have a high probablity of not occurring. All day today I have been struggling with the notion that I can acknowledge and occassionally change my expectations, and then go on. And by changing my expectations, possibly have more of them satisfied.

I have 40 years experience of placing expectations on others, without them knowing it, and then secretly being disappointed when the expectations go unfulfilled. Soon after resentment begins to build. I like the idea of the other approach. Modify my expectations to things I can control or influence, namely my behavior, and let everything else go. The first part I can see doing and I can see the benefits. It is similar to personal goal setting or a self pep talk. The second half however, letting everything else go, including the behavior of others seems completely foreign to me. I understand that it enough to know that it makes perfect sense, intellectually speaking. But from an emotional standpoint, I've never done it. I can't visualize what that would look like or feel. And hence my dilemma.

The one part that I think is fascinating is that if/when I can let go of placing expectations on others or things outside my control, I will, in theory, experience less disappointment and resentment. Focus inward, not outward. I totally get it. I will have to play with this. I don't know how to do it.

A Stream of Ideas

2008-09-01T14:25:00.004-05:00

This past week (I start many of my blogs this way), I was focus on integrating "Harvest ideas. Edit applications. Ideas need a dynamic, fluid, generous environment to sustain life. Applications, on the other hand, benefit from critical rigor. Produce a high ratio of ideas to applications," from Bruce Mau's "Incomplete Manifesto for Growth." I found this to be an interesting exercise that I suspect and hope that I will continue going forward.

I interpreted this suggestion as a focus on unadulterated, unedited ideas. Allow the ideas to flow, whatever they may be and look for applications later. The result is cool. I initially had to "turn off" my editing or judgement filter when an idea randomly entered my mind AND I was aware of it. I'm sure that many other ideas came and went either do to not being aware I was given an idea or I was unaware that my filter was still actively working. Overtime however, I began to question "the filter." The filter was often based on old, untrue prejudices or notions and beliefs that I heard from someone else. The filter was also at times based in fear of change. But, more than anything, I became aware of "the filter."

Once I realized that when I received an idea and the voice in my head kicking in nearly instantaneously afterwards was actually my filter, I could ignore the filter. I couldn't turn it off, but I can acknowledge it and ignore it. Then I was left with the raw idea. I had/have many of them each day. I began to brainstorm and actively participate in free association whenever my mind wasn't otherwise occupied, even for a split second. It feels like I found a radio channel that continuously streams ideas and all I needed was tune my receiver to the correct frequency to catch them. It feels strange and natural at the same time. I am NOT use to this yet. I think there is much, much more here to explore.

So, while I notice the stream of ideas, I try to capture a few. I make a mental note or write them down. After a few days, I reviewed the ideas. I have many more ideas, good and practical ideas than I did before. And most of the ideas, as raw as they may be, need little or no adjustment to make them realistic, to make them real. Most of the adjustments were to focus the ideas on specific projects or desires that I have. I believe the raw ideas would probably work just fine.

My advice: notice "the filter", allow the ideas to flow, take note and review later. The ideas may be very quiet and come in unexpected times, but they are there for the picking.

This week I will review "Keep moving. The market and its operations have a tendency to reinforce success. Resist it. Allow failure and migration to be part of your practice."

Naysayers Beware

2008-08-29T16:27:00.003-05:00

So, I have the great opportunity to have my work exhibited at two galleries in Chicago at the same time. This is a first for me. I am very excited about it. One show came so fast that I spent most of the week preparing and didn't have enough time to send out a press release or email announcement. Two shows, who could have imagined? I didn't. I love the idea. How cool!

But even with the attention that I am getting, the shows, the positive reactions to my new work, I am still taken back by those naysayers I run into. Trust me, I can find enough reasons on my own for why leaving a good paying corporate job to pursue art was a bad idea. I don't need any help there. But, I have managed to talk myself into believe that this is possible. I can go against the tide and live my dream life. And then I run into a naysayer. Those folks who have doubt in their voice along with the half ass words of encouragement. They are out there, everywhere, often in places where I least expect it.

It happened to me this afternoon. I ran into someone whom I thought would be supportive but was in reality a naysayer. I concluded today that there are a few ways I can handle the negativity I receive from this people. One way is I can take it to heart, agree with them, doubt what I am doing and attempting to do, give up and return to the rat race. (Hint: It is called a rat race for a reason. Does it sound good to you?) Another way is to feel sorry for them. I can imagine them scared and/or jealous individuals looking to take down others around them. I prefer, however, to take their comments of doom and gloom, of failure and disappointment, and leverage it to push me forward. Everyone thought Columbus was crazy. No one believed in the Wright Brothers. Men on the Moon? Impossible. (Impossible is Nothing, by the way) Honestly, why would I listen to anyone who tells me I can't do something. They don't know what I can or can't do. And if I'm completely honest, although I may know what I have done, I don't know what I am capable of doing either. But I have a better chance of realizing it than they do. Or put another way, instead of someone else defining what kind of life I will lead, I will do the defining. I will do the exploring and experimenting. And whatever I do, I realize I can do more that I ever thought possible.

Maybe it is a little rebellious but frankly I don't care. When someone tells me I can't do something that I want to do without any reason or basis in fact, I will try to prove them wrong. So, am I a successful artist already? I think so. I create art. I have enough to eat and a nice place to live. And, most importantly, I'm happy. Thank you for the push this afternoon.

Taking a Chance

2008-08-27T15:13:00.003-05:00

On a lark, I sent an email late last week to a gallery I knew. I hadn't shown my stuff there before mainly because I hadn't tried to. I didn't believe my work was of the caliber that is normally shown there. But last week I was on a roll sending out submissions for agents and art consultants and I received and email from the gallery announcing their new location. So, since I was in the moment, I sent a simple email, almost timid, asking if they may possibly be interested in reviewing my work for possible inclusion in a group show in the future. I was expecting not to hear or receive the typical cold and demeaning negative response that I have received very often in the past.

I received a phone call the very next day.

They reviewed my portfolio on my web site and liked several of my pieces. They asked me to come in, look at the new space and bring a few pieces for them to look at. I approached it as an interview. I was excited, nervous and grateful for the opportunity. I also began questioning myself. Who did I think I was attempting to pull off two exhibitions in one month? My answer was, I don't know but I won't sell if no one never sees my work. Plus I didn't have the show yet. In addition, I was prepared to receive criticism from the artist who owned the gallery. He knew and worked with one of the most known artist of the 20th century. I tried to stay positive and took three recent pieces that I was proud of.

I was greeted warmly at the door and the artist and the curator remembered me from a brief meeting years ago. Their curiosity got to them and they had to look at my work. They liked it. All of it. I showed them my portfolio book and they liked all by one series. Incredible! I started feeling more comfortable and began discussing some of my apprehensions about exhibiting in general. All were brushed aside. They genuinely liked my work. I was is shock. It was in the moment I realized that my lack in confidence in myself because I wasn't "properly schooled" in art was holding me back. I may not know terms or jargon, but I can create art that at a minimum catch a person's eye and at most make an impact. I think that is a good range for me to exist in.

The moral of the story, I am the limiting factor to achieving what I want. The world doesn't have it out for me. People are not throwing up roadblocks. If I do what I want to do, in my case create art, and do it honestly and with all my heart, and then work hard to show the world what I have done, people will take notice. Not all people, but enough.

It has been a stressful week, an exciting week, with lots of running around, scheduling and balancing. I thrive on this energy. The stakes just got higher this week thanks to the mere fact I took a small chance. I received in return a big payback.

Oh, by the way, I'm in the show. It starts in two days. My work is in two exhibits in September. I'm very proud (and a bit stunned).

Everyone is a Leader

2008-08-25T13:09:00.006-05:00

This past week, I was focused on "Everyone is a leader. Growth happens. Whenever it does, allow it to emerge. Learn to follow when it makes sense. Let anyone lead." from the Incomplete Manifesto for Growth by Bruce Mau.

I agree with this idea and support it wholeheartedly, even if I don't do it myself. I did not have an opportunity to experience this in a creative capacity directly this week. I did try to follow others as well as lead in other areas of my life. I think the impact is just as great. I noticed, however, that there are two types of people. One group leads when needed or when given the opportunity. They enjoy leading and are comfortable in the role. Others, not so much.

This second group, the let-me-follow group I find interesting. For whatever reason, members of this group would prefer nothing to occur and allow the group to dissipate than step forward and lead. I conducted a few experiments with groups of people where I normally take the lead. I quietly stepped aside. No one stepped forward. So I continueed and kept my mouth shut and remained action less. No one stepped forward. No ideas were offered. The looming resulting was separation of the group and, although that was not the desired outcome, the group was racing to the inevitable state. I finally made a few suggestions which were well received and then I decided which of the suggestions we would do. Of course, thanks to my years in corporate America, I made it looked like a group decision but the decision was mine. I'm not comfortable being seen in the role of dictator although I feel I play the role often.

The group I was with are accomplished people that I suspect, in their element, can take charge. For some, I do believe that allowing others step ahead is a combination of things, everything from fear, insecurity, passive aggressive behavior, indecisiveness, apathy and many others. All of these we all suffer from at times so this should be of no surprise. Ironically, it is when you step out of your comfort zone and take the risk when creativity and changes occur. I long for the day when I can witness someone from the let-me-follow group take a stand and lead. I suspect that I am in for a treat, a direction that I would not have come up with myself. We are all leaders. We are all followers. Influence comes from all directions. Influence and allow yourself to be influenced. That means, lead and follow. There is room for both.

Maybe someday, American politicians will follow this notion.

This week I will be exploring the concept of "Harvest ideas. Edit applications. Ideas need a dynamic, fluid, generous environment to sustain life. Applications, on the other hand, benefit from critical rigor. Produce a high ratio of ideas to applications."

Oh, by the way, Impossible is Nothing.

Begin Anywhere

2008-08-18T14:51:00.004-05:00

This past week, the suggestion from Bruce Mau's "Incomplete Manifesto for Growth" was "Begin anywhere. John Cage tells us that not knowing where to begin is a common form of paralysis. His advice: begin anywhere." This sounds much easier that it was.

When I consulted, we had a phrase "paralysis by analysis" referring to projects and managers that need more and more information before a decision can be made. I see "begin anywhere" as very similar. I can think about starting. I can think about doing. I can even think about the end state or goal. But all that time, I'm only thinking. I'm not doing. I'm not moving. I strongly believe that moving, however fast or slow, no matter the direction is ultimately better and more productive than thinking, planning, and analyzing. With movement comes momentum.

The other aspect that occurred to me is that since everything is a process (I've talked about that before) and the focus is on the process not the goal (also discussed previously), the process is already in progress, even if we haven't jumped in yet. To put it another way, just start. There is no beginning or starting point. There is no goal or finish line. Those are artificial ideas we dream up. It is sort of like running to catch a moving train. I'm here and the train is approaching. Where is the starting point? Where I am? Where the train originated? Do I need to go to where the train started and wait for the next train? No. Start running and jump on when the meets up with you. So the next inevitable question is, where is the train going? Where do I jump off? My question in response, does it matter? I'm moving. I'm doing. I can jump on and off at my pleasure. And just because I jump off does not mean I'm at the end.

So the moral of the story, as Nike so nicely put it, Just do it. Go. Start today. Move. Make something happen. Watch how things, especially you, will change as a result.

This week I will be investigating "Everyone is a leader. Growth happens. Whenever it does, allow it to emerge. Learn to follow when it makes sense. Let anyone lead."

Wandering Aimlessly Is Encouraged

2008-08-11T16:47:00.004-05:00

This past week's assignment from Bruce Mau's "Incomplete Manifesto for Growth" focused on drifting. It reads, "Drift. Allow yourself to wander aimlessly. Explore adjacencies. Lack judgment. Postpone criticism." It sounds much easier than it is. In fact, this may have been the most challenging for me to date.

I'm not sure where the challenge for me originates but two of the concepts in particular, namely "wander aimlessly" and "postpone criticism" were the hardest. I understand completely that in order to wander aimlessly, criticism needs to be suspended. Otherwise, I could not wander. The idea of suspending judgement and criticism has appear before in the Manifesto but this time is the coupling with wandering, or as I interpreted it, exploring, presented the hurdle.

It feels like this is the next step is reducing or de-emphasizing judgement. Before, the idea was do what you do and don't judge it until the end. Then, don't judge it at all, just do what you do. Now it has evolved to do something new that isn't what you do just for the sake of doing something new that isn't what you normally would do. And do it randomly, without looking for a benefit. Doing something new, something random is its own benefit. Intellectually, I completely understand. Emotionally however, is a different story.

I saw myself questioning the validity of doing the new, aimless adventure. I was analyzing what I could get out of it. I was judging it while I was doing it. I will keep practicing trying to wander aimlessly. I can see the purpose, which are many: exposure to new things or processes; discover hidden treasures in the world, others and myself; break from convention; discover my true passions; discover my true dislikes; and the potential to flip my life upside down. I think it all goes back to doing is its own merit and reward. The question is, how do I forgo judging and criticizing. I will have to get back to you on that. Right now, I don't know. Overall, I like the idea of temporarily getting off the path and seeing what lie just over the hill. Maybe something shiny.

This week's suggestion appears to be linked to last week, "Begin anywhere. John Cage tells us that not knowing where to begin is a common form of paralysis. His advice: begin anywhere."

What Is My Style?

2008-08-08T14:18:00.004-05:00

I've been working on several paintings for the past several weeks. Some days I work on them, some I don't. Today, I returned to two of them, both are very different is styles but similar in theme. Both are part of a series of self portraits but I am also challenging the traditional notion of a self portrait at the same time. It was by releasing myself from the traditional definition that I was able to begin the series. Prior to that, I was frozen and unable to move.

I also noticed that in doing self portraits, I am creating snapshots of how I feel and how I see myself at any given time. It has forced be to be introspective and on occasion, I don't want to be. On those days, I am unable to work on the self portraits. Beside having to examine and face my emotional and physical self, I am also trying to find my style at the same time. This is something I have written about before, the elusive personal style.

I have had the opportunity during the past month to see works of artists that, for whatever reason, captured my attention. I began to notice similarities in their styles and color palettes. There is something about the similarities that draws me but I haven't figured out why as of yet. I have an urge or desire to follow their lead and build off of what I find enticing. But I'm not sure where to begin, technically speaking. So, for the time being, I will continue to admire and ponder these artists, Robert Carbonell being one, and wait for the muse to tap my should and tell me it is time to begin.

In the meantime, I will continue to work on my portraits, playing, experimenting and reflecting and watch my style change over time. I get frustrated at times not having one signature style but on the other hand, right now I have several styles. My wish is that one of the styles that I enjoy to create begins to mature and evolve to a higher level of expression.

Impossible is Nothing

2008-08-06T13:25:00.005-05:00

My good friend Nancy is in China for the Olympics which start later this week. Fortunately, I am on her email list reporting back on her Chinese adventures. She mentioned in today's email a number of billboards for Adidas in Shanghai with the phrase "Impossible is Nothing." I had to look it up. (How did we live without Google?)

I really like this idea, reversing the common phrase of nothing is impossible. The new order, to me, gives a sense of importance and possibility to attempting the unthinkable. I get the feeling that all is trivial, mind over matter. If I don't mind, it doesn't matter. I'm sure I can throw a few more cliches out there but the idea is pretty clear.

It is a shame however that we, as a public, get our best inspiration for personal or group achievement from marketing companies working to promote sporting goods. I would hope that this type of motivation would come from the social institutions that I would historically look to for guidance, namely, governments & politicians, churches and religious leaders and even in some cases, upper management of the companies we work for. And yet, I haven't seen it. Those organizations that claim to be leaders or want to lead don't do so. Yes, I admit I am burned out from the seemingly endless US presidential election (the process is TOO long) with mind numbing catch phrases that have no or little substance. Change, please. Every 4 years I hear change. How about "Impossible is nothing?" Or "Make Love, Not War." Or "Just Do It." Where is the rally cry?

Say what you want about marketing companies but a few have figured out how to motivate people to push forward. If only our political and religious leaders could do the same. Imagine what kind of world we would have if our leaders actually led. That may be impossible but then again, impossible is nothing.

Study in the Studio

2008-08-04T14:12:00.003-05:00

This past week I was trying to incorporate "Study. A studio is a place of study. Use the necessity of production as an excuse to study. Everyone will benefit," another suggestion from Bruce Mau's "Incomplete Manifesto for Growth." At first, and for most of the week, I had no idea what this was about, what it meant, what it was leading to or how to apply it. That all changed this morning.

This morning during my daily painting time (I set aside several hours everyday to paint regardless of what else is going on that day) I was trying to determine what I was going to work on and how to approach it. Over the past several weeks, mainly due to several fortuitous accidents, I have developed another process yielding a twist in my style. But the process is still immature but is still showing a lot of potential. That being said, I wanted to try the process again with a few minor changes and see what would happen. More experimentation.

That's when it hit me. With each experiment I conducted, I was looking for the similarities and differences between the previous works and the current one using the same or similar process. I was "studying" the results, that is to say, I was noting how changing the process affected the final work. I was hung up on my definition of studying from school which was nothing more the repitition and memorization. Studying is more. It is exploration, examination, experimentation, documentation and playing.

Like many of the previous suggestions from the "Incomplete Manifesto" I explored, I think there is a necessity to suspend current prejudice and eliminate (or at least reduce) the my propensity to focus on the final outcome. If I look to the end, I miss the differences and the similarities. I am unable to study. It makes me question my education where I spent my time cramming just to receive a good grade. Learning was not part of studying past. Achievement was. Achievement is not studying.

As a result of this morning, I have started a notebook where I am documenting my observations of working with resin. It reminds me of my lab book in graduate school. In fact, now I see my studio as a laboratory, not a place of production.

The other benefit that I notice is that again, this helps pull me back into living the moment and not focus on the future. I'm beginning to see the pattern in the "Incomplete Manifesto." I'll have to study it further.

This week, I will be examining the next suggestion which is "Drift. Allow yourself to wander aimlessly. Explore adjacencies. Lack judgment. Postpone criticism."

73 Things To Do

2008-08-01T13:44:00.004-05:00

My neighbor across the alley had a party on their patio last night until 2am. One of the women had one of those voices that can be heard across town even when she uses her "indoor voice." That is to say, they were loud. I'm sluggish and tired today as a result. I need my 7.5-8 hours of sleep a night. Given how slow I'm working it may be beneficial for me to take a nap and then get back to work. I use to do it when I worked a corporate job. Well, I napped with my eyes open so it isn't quite like sleeping, more like suspended animation.

I didn't paint today. I've been doing a lot of odds and ends that just never seem to get done. Not a whole lot of enjoyment or satisfaction except now they are done and I can start a new pile of things I prefer not to do. I have a busy weekend coming up followed by a busy week. When I had the office job, I often thought that I would have more free time when I was an artist full time. I grossly underestimated all the little things that go along with trying to get exposure and show my work. I'm still stumbling to put efficient processes in place so they no longer feel like chores. I'm still thinking some sort of schedule or dedicated time will work. I just have to follow the schedule I set to do all those things I prefer not to, or find someone to do them for me.

All of this brings me to self accountability. It isn't as easy as it looks on TV. There are distractions and personal desires, procrastinations and other things that can easily bump me off course in spite of me good intentions when I wake up. In fact, every morning, I am sure that today is the day that I do this and that and the other with nearly military precision. Not so much. With morning email comes a game or two on Facebook. The load of laundry starts up and so do the dishes. If I didn't shower after my run , I better take care of that and before I realize it, it is lunch time. When I had an office job, I was amazed by how long the day was. Now I'm amazed by how short it is.

So as not to beat myself up for not being a robot working away everyday, I have the goal of accomplishing one thing on my to-do-list. It doesn't sound like much but believe me, one painting a day translates to 5 a week, 20 a month. That type of production is great. Or perhaps the goal is to update the website, or the store, contact a few artist representatives or whatever. The point is it all doesn't have to be done today. Some today, some tomorrow, some the day after that. I think this goes back to something I've written about before, the process. I want to enjoy the process of building a small business. I don't want to miss it by working myself into the ground. Besides, if I finish 10 things today, I know there will be 10 new things tomorrow to do. It never ends. The goal is never reached. The goal will change while I sleep tonight and always be just out of reach. I'm okay with coming close to the goal, or at least for know I am. Perhaps I'll think differently come winter and I'm house bound.

How Much Does It Cost? Part II

2008-07-31T13:09:00.003-05:00

On this very warm day in Chicago, I decided I had to get out of the house. I completed a painting today and realized that administrative tasks had been piling up. So I grabbed my laptop and now I'm working in a cafe in the Andersonville neighborhood, one of my favorite parts of town.

All of this is of course procrastination of the real task at hand today, pricing the work from my latest series. I've been avoiding it. In the past at least, I priced paintings without commitment. That is to say, the prices changed. Hard to run a business or sell when then prices are a moving target. In addition, I have heard from a number of different sources that my past pricing is too low for the quality of work I'm producing. And this takes me back to something I have written about before, art versus product.

I was thinking that my art needs to be priced to sell, what the market will support. This is Econ 101. It also assumes that my art is a product, not a commodity. As a commodity, everything changes. What is the price that I am willing to let go of an original is now the question. In fact, a good friend suggested that I price my work "as if I didn't need the money." That is quite a concept given the fear of becoming the stereotypical starving artist. Ironically, I'm not starving and there is no sign of that in sight so the fear is completely unfounded. I think my friend's advice has merit. A lot of merit.

The other thing that was pointed out to me, which I think is a common trap for emerging artists, is pricing based on size. This is one of the cases where "sizes doesn't matter." (I'm referring to art work size.) What matters is the plethora of variables such as the complexity, the amount of work it took, the quality of technical execution, the quality of the emotional impact, the message, etc. Few of these are "product" orientated. These are visceral. This is why art is a commodity.

Since I create without worrying about selling (most of the time) but focus on expressing myself honestly and in an individualistic manner (I try to at least), the pricing should follow suit. The pricing should be based on how well I expressed myself. Just as when I speak, I don't know if anyone will listen, the same is true for my art. Just because I painted doesn't mean anyone is going to "buy" it. But I believe people like honest dialogue. Selling comes back to honest expression, just as creating. This has been a difficult concept for my to digest. I am amazed by the influence the culture of commercialism has had on me. For a successful pricing scheme, I feel the need to step outside of that influence and determine the price of my expression, not of the art product.

Basically, if you want a piece of me, i.e. my expression, it is going to cost you this day forward. ;-)

Captured Accidents

2008-07-28T15:04:00.003-05:00

This past week, I was attempting to incorporate another recommendation from Bruce Mau's "Incomplete Manifesto for Growth,"

"Capture accidents. The wrong answer is the right answer in search of a different question. Collect wrong answers as part of the process. Ask different questions."

My accident: I made too much resin for a particular piece I was working on. My previous question would have been "how do I mix just the right about of resin that I need?" The new question that arose was "what else can I do with the 'extra' resin?" That started the ball rolling.
How do I know I had an accident? I said (to myself) "dammit, I mixed too much resin." I acknowledged an unexpected situation, the accident.

I answered the new question with a new process and technique. It came to me on the fly. The result was one of my favorite pieces I have ever created. I developed a new process which was necessary since I was working with premixed and slightly cured resin. My normal process would not have worked, there wasn't enough time. So the new process was a bit of an experiment, kinda. I had played with the new process a little bit previously but never committed myself to it. This time, since I was feeling experimental and more open minded that usual, I went for it. I'm glad I did. The result is amazing. So much so, I am planning on implementing the new process again this week on a larger scale. This is still somewhat an experiment because scale is one of those variables that can change things due to the time constraints. But I'm confident in this new direction.

The other thing I find interesting are my two questions. The first is limiting, speaking of reduction, and in a sense, constraints. The second question is looking at doing more. And with more comes abundance and change. Maybe I'm reading too much into these seemingly harmless questions but I believe there is a fundamental shift in thinking that can or has occurred by viewing accidents through a different lens. Accidents are not accidents, they are opportunities. I was not expecting this "revelation" at all.

Perhaps there really isn't anything known as an accident. Perhaps accidents are something that interfere with my plans unexpectedly but allow me to take a different approach or direction. Perhaps accidents are really gifts from above.

I like this recommendation and I encourage you to acknowledge the accidents that do occur and stop for a second and ask a different question. I suspect things will turn out differently and better than imagined.

Next, I am looking at

"Study. A studio is a place of study. Use the necessity of production as an excuse to study. Everyone will benefit."

To be honest, I don't understand this one or what it is suggesting. But, I'll ponder it and hopefully it will come to me.