Be Careful to Take Risks

This past week I was focusing on the latest suggestion from Bruce Mau's "Incomplete Manifesto for Growth" namely "Be careful to take risks. Time is genetic. Today is the child of yesterday and the parent of tomorrow. The work you produce today will create your future." I think this applies to nearly every aspect of my life, not just the creative side.

I recently read that most people use the incorrect definition of a goal, something that will be or will be achieved in the future. It went on to say that that isn't a goal as so much a result. The future state is the result of the goals and work we do today. Today is built on what was accomplished yesterday. Tomorrow with start off where we left off today. Therefore, day in and day out, we work little by little and over time we begin to see results. The goals are actually those smaller targets that we can accomplish today. For example, I have a goal that I will paint for at least 2 hours today, and again tomorrow and the day after that. If I hit my daily goals, I will have the results of producing the number of paintings of quality I want by the end of the month.

I also noticed two things that when I focus more on what I am doing today and not on what I want 3 months from now. First, it is harder to procrastinate. I have 5 tasks to do today. I either do them or I don't. If I don't, they are on the list tomorrow. They don't go away and they are still needed to be done if the results are going to be realized. The second thing I noticed is those grand results I want for myself are not so big and overwhelming when I break them down into smaller attainable daily tasks. With not being so overwhelming, the risks associated with the daily tasks are also not as scary. They even seem trivial at times. So simply by breaking things down and focus on today, I am able to no procrastinate and push things forward while also taking a few risks along the way. Remember, no risk, no reward.

My conclusion is that I should look everyday in my tasks for something that is a bit risky and do it. Doing so day after day will yield much larger results and give an intense sense of accomplishment. Most of all, I'll get what I want.

This week I am looking at the 21st recommendation from the "Incomplete Manifesto for Growth" which states "Repeat yourself. If you like it, do it again. If you don’t like it, do it again."

Which Way Do I Go?

For a few weeks know I have been struggling with the concept of being able to support myself with my art work. I haven't sold much lately even with two gallery shows. In addition, many who had doubts about my decision be focus on art as a living have been more vocal lately, spurring me to second guess myself. I often read in blogs and advice for artist websites the suggestion of not quiting your day job. Well I did, six month ago. All together has lead me to where I am now, wondering if I can make a living at this. I have self doubt.

When I first quit my corporate job, I was very gunho and full of optimism. I could paint the next masterpiece and conquer the world. So when the naysayers came knocking I could block their negative ideas or ignore them altogether. I could build myself up. Over time however, my resolve has weakened. I'm getting hit harder and more frequently by the naysayers. There are cracks in my force field. Plus I can only seem to pull myself up so high now. Not as high and strong as I was before. I'm feeling more pragmatic, or at least that how I am rationalizing my second guessing.

So here is my dilemma. On one hand, I know some just don't get it. They don't understand what I want or what I am trying to do. That is okay. They don't have to. As an artist, one of my jobs is to stretch myself and others. Change is hard to accept and often initially ridiculed, especially if it is visionary or radical. I see my purpose to help others see things differently. Some don't want to see things differently. I can work around them.

On the other hand, we live in a highly materialist society. Money rules. I am finding it hard to separate myself from this. I lived in this world for so long and I have a standard of living that I am accustomed to that I want to maintain. Therefore, I want a certain amount of money to make that happen. My art isn't supplying this at the moment. I can make the money I want if I sacrifice some of the time I have dedicated to my art and put it back into the corporate agenda. Part of me sees this as selling out. Part of me sees it as failing at being an artist. And part of me tells me I need more time to develop my craft and I should be will to do whatever it takes to make it happen, even if that means temporarily going back into a corporate life.

So, here I am. I have some doubt and some confusion on the best route forward. I know that I must stay the course to make my dream of being a self supporting working artist a reality. Creating art and showing it to others makes me happy. There may be some detours. There may be some wrong turns. I may even have to back track now and then. I guess, ultimately, it is a question of how badly I want this and am I willing to do the work to make it happen. If I can remain focus on my goal, I hope that I can stay true to the goal in spite of the naysayers and my own second guessing. If I stay true, the money will come.

73 Things To Do

My neighbor across the alley had a party on their patio last night until 2am. One of the women had one of those voices that can be heard across town even when she uses her "indoor voice." That is to say, they were loud. I'm sluggish and tired today as a result. I need my 7.5-8 hours of sleep a night. Given how slow I'm working it may be beneficial for me to take a nap and then get back to work. I use to do it when I worked a corporate job. Well, I napped with my eyes open so it isn't quite like sleeping, more like suspended animation.

I didn't paint today. I've been doing a lot of odds and ends that just never seem to get done. Not a whole lot of enjoyment or satisfaction except now they are done and I can start a new pile of things I prefer not to do. I have a busy weekend coming up followed by a busy week. When I had the office job, I often thought that I would have more free time when I was an artist full time. I grossly underestimated all the little things that go along with trying to get exposure and show my work. I'm still stumbling to put efficient processes in place so they no longer feel like chores. I'm still thinking some sort of schedule or dedicated time will work. I just have to follow the schedule I set to do all those things I prefer not to, or find someone to do them for me.

All of this brings me to self accountability. It isn't as easy as it looks on TV. There are distractions and personal desires, procrastinations and other things that can easily bump me off course in spite of me good intentions when I wake up. In fact, every morning, I am sure that today is the day that I do this and that and the other with nearly military precision. Not so much. With morning email comes a game or two on Facebook. The load of laundry starts up and so do the dishes. If I didn't shower after my run , I better take care of that and before I realize it, it is lunch time. When I had an office job, I was amazed by how long the day was. Now I'm amazed by how short it is.

So as not to beat myself up for not being a robot working away everyday, I have the goal of accomplishing one thing on my to-do-list. It doesn't sound like much but believe me, one painting a day translates to 5 a week, 20 a month. That type of production is great. Or perhaps the goal is to update the website, or the store, contact a few artist representatives or whatever. The point is it all doesn't have to be done today. Some today, some tomorrow, some the day after that. I think this goes back to something I've written about before, the process. I want to enjoy the process of building a small business. I don't want to miss it by working myself into the ground. Besides, if I finish 10 things today, I know there will be 10 new things tomorrow to do. It never ends. The goal is never reached. The goal will change while I sleep tonight and always be just out of reach. I'm okay with coming close to the goal, or at least for know I am. Perhaps I'll think differently come winter and I'm house bound.