Clear Confusion

Although I am only half way through the week, it has been confusing and a bit frustrating on the professional and personal fronts. I had a very difficult time painting today. I felt blocked. I am blocked. Confusion is blocking me. Okay, to me honest I'm allowing confusion to block me but I haven't found the way to jump that wall yet.

When I feel frustrated, I can continue to work. I somehow can push the feelings aside and allow my creative side out. Confusion is a different animal. It feels like a fog. It permeates into every nook and cranny on my head and heart. I feel clumsy and stumble around, feeling way. This is also how I feel when I attempt to create, clumsy, foggy. I wasn't able today to return to paintings I had started earlier. I couldn't "see" what had to be done next. So I decided to move on to new paintings.

I had some blank boards lying around, already prepared. I set it up and was already to go. I stared at the blank black board. No image emerged. No colors emerged. Nothing but static. It reminded me of when I was a kid and we use an antenna to get TV reception. Some days the picture was clear and others filled with static so that I could barely make out the picture on the TV. Today was static. Needless to say, I didn't start the new painting.

I'll try again tomorrow. I'm hoping the forecast calls for a lifting fog and a clear day.