I Want the Day Off!

I woke up this morning a bit out of sorts. Not in a bad mood, not in a good one either. I didn't feel much like doing anything, at all. I forced myself to paint a while but not nearly as much as a typical day. I then began to attack small projects around the house that I wanted to get done but for some reason always ended up on the "do tomorrow" list. The ironic part is I don't like being bored nor idle. I want to be busy doing something. But today, that wasn't painting. It wasn't calling galleries either. I didn't want to have anything to do with the creative process or sales in any way, shape or form. To avoid doing so, I even polished my coffee table! The last time I polished my coffee table was over 4 years ago. It is not a household task that I enjoy doing but today it was better than working.

I have days like this. I'm not sure what causes them and I doubt that there is anything that I can to do eliminate or mitigate them. It is mid afternoon now and I am just now beginning to get back to my normal schedule. I still don't want to but I have nothing else to do. I can't watch daytime TV plus doing so makes me feel guilty, like I "should" be doing something. Maybe I should just take a "mental health day" and let it go. Tomorrow is another day and another opportunity to start attacking the tasks on my list, both for the art studio and the new consulting practice.

I keep reminding myself, consistent effort will get me to where I want to go. Consistently applying effort seems to be an issue. Maybe I just like to daydream. Maybe I don't have what it takes. Maybe I'm afraid of failure. Maybe I'm afraid of success. Honestly, however, I think this is a combination of impatience and avoidance of change, especially the kind of change that points me into a brand new direction.

God willing, I will have another opportunity tomorrow to try again.