Original Recipe

For several days now I've been feeling down, then I becamge blue and now I am just plain sad. I have no energy and want to sleep all the time. But guess what? I'm not sleeping very well either. I began to notice that although I've been a full time artist now for almost 3 months and I have created some very good and interesting pieces, they are not original. The inspiration for most have come from other people's art work. I've been imitating their style, technique, theme or color selection. I've gotten pretty good a doing so.

The problem I have with this is that as an artist, I feel that it is my job to create something original, to create something that is uniquely mine. When you look at a Picasso or a Miro, even if you haven't seen the painting before, you know who did it. Okay, I'm not famous (yet) and few know who I am but there isn't anything specifically "me" in my work. Right now, no one can say, "oh, that's a Nolan."

So, I'm thinking about what separates the Picasso's from the rest of the pack. I have concluded there are three things that stand out. First, there is an unique technique. The brush stoke, the colors, layout of the image are all very specific to the artist. Try as they may (and I may) other artists cannot complete replicate. It is one of a kind. The second is that they do not imitate. They are completely themselves. This is tightly coupled to the first. The paintings, as well as the artist, are honest. They are from the artist's soul. They are not superficial. And lastly, the artist has a message. Some are more obvious than others and the message often changes over time but the message is there. The combination of an unique style, honesty and a message I now believe is what helps create a good piece of art.

So, why am I sad? Because I have none of the three. I have been imitating others, I don't have a original technique nor a have I been honest. That is to say, I have been honestly mimicking others, but I haven't been honest in my creations. I haven't exposed my soul. And, I don't have a message. I don't feel like I have found my voice yet. This hit me like a brick in the head.

Here is the kicker. I know that I can develop an original technique or look. I know that I can be honest. And I know that I have a voice or message, I just don't know what it is today. All three will reveal themselves (hopefully soon). They will come out as I continue to experiment, play, and stay open (or become open). This is the hard part for me. I'm impatient. I want my signature creations now. I'm going to have to work for them. I have to paint even when I don't want to. I have to try new things even if I don't think they will work. And I have to listen to my gut for those elements that spark me and then capture the sensation, feeling or situation so others can "see" what I am "saying."

Being an artist is not all glitz and glamour. It is hard work. I want to take a nap.