Ugly Duckling or Signpost?

This past week I was working on the forth recommendation of Bruce Mau's "Incomplete Manifesto for Growth", namely,

"Love your experiments (as you would an ugly child). Joy is the engine of growth. Exploit the liberty in casting your work as beautiful experiments, iterations, attempts, trials, and errors. Take the long view and allow yourself the fun of failure every day."

This week, I allowed myself to play and experiment a bit more than usual. It was uncomfortable. I have been programmed that failure is a bad thing to be avoided. In order to experiment and try next approaches or techniques, I had to definitely focus on the process more than the outcome (last weeks suggestion). No success, no failure. Here, more so than last week, I notice my compulsion for creating a product. That is to say, I was concerned how the final work my look and/or be received by others. Shaking "failing" was not easily done.

I pondered the "ugly child" metaphor a bit. An ugly child has beauty within, that is to say, the other positive attributes the child has, besides looks. I tried to apply this to my experiments this week. I wanted to see what "value" these experimental works had, what did they have to show me. It was hard to do. I couldn't see it. Given that I am a visual artist, the visual aspect was predominate in my thinking. They didn't look good (according to me) and I also had to suspend my expectations and desires of how the piece "should" look. I could not push my views on it. I had to accept it as is. No easy feat. Painful and frustrating in fact.

A few weeks ago, I was blessed with a stream of images that I am still attempting to capture. All of these are different in theme and technique from my most recent work. They are experiments. In working these pieces specifically, I had tried to keep the suggestions from the "Incomplete Manifesto" in mind, or at least the ones I've attempted to incorporate. The first piece, based on my standard thinking, didn't work out. I didn't like it. But, yet I was proud that I tried to stretch. I put it aside and began the second. Another approach hit me and before using it on the second piece, I returned to the first piece and applied it. After all, I couldn't "wreck" it since I didn't care for it in the first place. It became my sandbox. Low and behold, the new approach added to the piece bring it to life. The reason I didn't like the image was because I hadn't completed it yet. What a revelation! I was too quick to judge. I was ready to throw it out. Now, I can see what steps are now needed to truly finish it. I used the new approach on the second piece from the start and although I like the direction, the feeling is nothing like the first. Maybe the second one will reveal itself later as well.

Some of my experiments may result in a fantastic image, or they may yield nothing. I suspect that they will more often land in the middle, pointing to a new direction or quietly waiting for more knowing that it isn't yet complete. Ugly or a masterpiece, art has the opportunity and possibility to expand beyond the limits I have given it.

This week, I will focus on then next suggestion:

"Go deep. The deeper you go the more likely you will discover something of value."