Blank Slate

What are passing ideas, images and dreams, and what are the ideas I grab and make real? Is there a difference? Or is it all me? During the course of the day, many ideas pop into my head. Ideas of things that would be cool to do or have, images that would be interesting or challenging to paint, career directions I never considered before. My challenge recently is which do I choose to pursue, or are these merely distractions.

I am in an arguably enviable spot. I have a clean slate. I am not tied at the moment to any career or life direction. I can go and do anything, truly. On one hand, I am completely grateful for this opportunity. It doesn't happen everyday. On the other hand, it feels daunting and overwhelming. I'm not used to it. Many aspects in my life I allowed to happen to me, such as much career until recently. There wasn't much decision or direction or guiding. Much of that was due to me not understanding that 1) I have a say in how my life unfolds, and 2) I didn't know what I wanted.

So now, it is decision time. Which idea and image to follow is the task as hand. Which ones do I want and I believe I can make happen. Ironically, while I have been in this state for the past few weeks, I have been unable to paint. No desire at all. No inspiration. All these images in my head and I do not feel the urge to attempt to capture them at all.

I am curious to see what will happen in the next year, few months, few weeks. Many changes I suspect are looming just waiting for me to step in one direction in the other and start down a new and exciting path.