Just a Little Faith

I was having lunch with a friend yesterday and he began discussing my decision to give up my full time corporate job to pursue art. It surprised me that 7 months into my "new life" that people are still talking about it. He went on and on about how much confidence I must have, especially in my abilities. He saw my change as courageous.

I don't want to discount his opinion as I took it as a big compliment. But, I never saw it that way before. I still don't. I didn't have confidence in my artist abilities at the time. I didn't have confidence that my plan would work nor that I wasn't making the biggest mistake of my life. It was painful. I made my decision in October to pull the trigger in the end of March. I had many, many sleepless nights and near panic attacks over my decision. I almost backed out of it or modified the plan to make it "easier." Now, I'm glad I didn't.

What I did have, however, was faith. I believed in my heart of hearts that regardless of the fear and anxiety that I was experiencing, I would be okay. I had no idea where I would end up (and I still don't) but that ambiguity was where the adventure began. I believed that with a daily focus on my art work, my art would mature to a place where I would be proud to sign it. My signature went from being on the back, to a small signature on the front to now a large, clear signature in a prominent location. Evidence of my pride in my work. I knew that as my work improved, sales would follow. I knew that I would get better creating. I knew that I could take care of myself and I knew that there is always another corporate job waiting me. Maybe not like the one I had but I wasn't going to starve or be living on the streets. I held on to my faith. Several days, I quoted the Little Engine That Could, "I know I can, I know I can." The strangest things popped into my head to keep my moving forward. Since the concept of changing careers seemed reasonable, at the time, albeit nontraditional and risky, I couldn't see a reason to pass up one more opportunity like I had in the past. I dove in, eyes shut tight!

I am happy to say I haven't starved and my work has matured and improved. Pieces are selling. In addition, other avenues to make money have appeared and I am pursuing them. These options were not open to me when I held a full time job. Again, they are nontraditional in nature. I can't, nor do I want, to follow convention anymore. Having faith that everything will turn out for the best even on those days when everything looks hopeless and doubt is circling like vultures is the priceless key to moving out of the box. I am very grateful I took the chance on myself. There is a whole world outside the box. And my art is reflecting that world back out as I experience it.

The next time an opportunity arises, even though I may be hesitant or feel a bit fearful of the uncertainty of it all, I simply have to remember to take a deep breath and have faith that I will not only handle what life may throw at me, but I'll end up thriving as a result of it. Good luck!