Vision

Vision without action is merely a dream. Action without vision just passes the time. Vision with action can change the world.
-Joel Barker

Work the Metaphor, No Thanks

Last week, from Bruce Mau's "Incomplete Manifesto for Growth" I reviewed "Work the metaphor. Every object has the capacity to stand for something other than what is apparent. Work on what it stands for." I have absolutely no idea what this means, what the suggestion is, how to apply it or how this relates to life or the creative process.

In fact, I couldn't disagree more with this recommendation. I believe to see things as they are and stop adding additional layers, fogging and confusing reality. Things are what they are. In there lies the beauty.

I will admit that many things have multiple meanings and playing these meanings off each other or using thing in unique and original ways will provide new and exciting results. But this still goes back to the meanings, what they truly are. Metaphors are traps to avoid being direct. If you have something to say, say it. No sugar coating.

I do not find this suggestion helpful or productive. Just the opposite. Just say what you want to say. It is what it is.

This week, I will examine "Be careful to take risks. Time is genetic. Today is the child of yesterday and the parent of tomorrow. The work you produce today will create your future.

A Day of Life

To wake up in the morning and be excited.

To feel good.

To feel my body alive—the energy flowing—

Propelling forward effortlessly to take action.

To have purpose.

To be connected.

To love—be loved—to love myself.

To want each day never to end.

To love life.

To want to be alive.

To smile—to laugh—to eat---to sleep.

To breathe each breath and relish it.

To taste life with each swallow.

To live.

To never find something not to be grateful for.

To be me!

--Devlyn Steele

Just a Little Faith

I was having lunch with a friend yesterday and he began discussing my decision to give up my full time corporate job to pursue art. It surprised me that 7 months into my "new life" that people are still talking about it. He went on and on about how much confidence I must have, especially in my abilities. He saw my change as courageous.

I don't want to discount his opinion as I took it as a big compliment. But, I never saw it that way before. I still don't. I didn't have confidence in my artist abilities at the time. I didn't have confidence that my plan would work nor that I wasn't making the biggest mistake of my life. It was painful. I made my decision in October to pull the trigger in the end of March. I had many, many sleepless nights and near panic attacks over my decision. I almost backed out of it or modified the plan to make it "easier." Now, I'm glad I didn't.

What I did have, however, was faith. I believed in my heart of hearts that regardless of the fear and anxiety that I was experiencing, I would be okay. I had no idea where I would end up (and I still don't) but that ambiguity was where the adventure began. I believed that with a daily focus on my art work, my art would mature to a place where I would be proud to sign it. My signature went from being on the back, to a small signature on the front to now a large, clear signature in a prominent location. Evidence of my pride in my work. I knew that as my work improved, sales would follow. I knew that I would get better creating. I knew that I could take care of myself and I knew that there is always another corporate job waiting me. Maybe not like the one I had but I wasn't going to starve or be living on the streets. I held on to my faith. Several days, I quoted the Little Engine That Could, "I know I can, I know I can." The strangest things popped into my head to keep my moving forward. Since the concept of changing careers seemed reasonable, at the time, albeit nontraditional and risky, I couldn't see a reason to pass up one more opportunity like I had in the past. I dove in, eyes shut tight!

I am happy to say I haven't starved and my work has matured and improved. Pieces are selling. In addition, other avenues to make money have appeared and I am pursuing them. These options were not open to me when I held a full time job. Again, they are nontraditional in nature. I can't, nor do I want, to follow convention anymore. Having faith that everything will turn out for the best even on those days when everything looks hopeless and doubt is circling like vultures is the priceless key to moving out of the box. I am very grateful I took the chance on myself. There is a whole world outside the box. And my art is reflecting that world back out as I experience it.

The next time an opportunity arises, even though I may be hesitant or feel a bit fearful of the uncertainty of it all, I simply have to remember to take a deep breath and have faith that I will not only handle what life may throw at me, but I'll end up thriving as a result of it. Good luck!

Stay Up Late

This past week I was examining the latest suggestion from Bruce Mau's "Incomplete Manifesto for Growth" which reads "Stay up late. Strange things happen when you’ve gone too far, been up too long, worked too hard, and you're separated from the rest of the world."

I agree that strange and often wonderful things occur when I'm separated from the world. No argument. But I don't believe you have to stay up and create in the middle of the night to have it happen. I have been working for the past few months at discovering an optimal work/life schedule for me. At first I threw out the corporate schedule I was use to. I then when to a very open, relaxed, unstructured schedule. Honestly, it was boring. I accomplished some but not enough and it didn't help my creativity. I talk a good game but I'm not a free spirit at heart. I soon realized that I work well in structure, just not a rigid corporate structure. I thrived when I set aside certain time periods for certain tasks. For example, I try to paint between 10am and 1pm for at least 2 hours daily. I have 3 hours in the afternoon which are designated to various projects and tasks depending on the day of the week. The rest of the time is left open for whatever else I want to do that day or what I believe has to get done. My productivity has soared.

So then I came to this recommendation to stay up. I recoiled at the idea as I had just found a good schedule that fits me like a glove with minimal stress and pretty good results. And in order to maintain the schedule, my sleep patterns had to be set in advanced. I'm a bit crabby if I don't get enough sleep.

Thinking about the recommendation more, I decided to go after the intent, namely, separate myself from the world. I could do that by temporarily change my schedule. Simply by moving my painting time to the afternoon one day, it would throw me off and let's see what would happen. Nothing happened, literally. I was the most unproductive I have ever been since I began my adventure as an artist. It could have been the day I chose for the experiment or the idea of simply moving my schedule around was flawed. I think the idea was flawed.

There may be something behind the recommendation to stay up and separate. I don't know. It is in contrast to everything that I know to work well. This is one suggestion I cannot stand behind without throwing out my schedule. I doubt the payback is enough to do so. I do recommend however, if you can, to find ways to detach and separate yourself. Creativity is about reaching inside, it is a solitary experience.

This week, I will review the next suggestion "Work the metaphor. Every object has the capacity to stand for something other than what is apparent. Work on what it stands for."

Late Bloomer

My friend Nancy sent me a link to a New Yorker article (http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2008/10/20/081020fa_fact_gladwell?printable=true) which talks about the differnces between a artisty prodigy and a late bloomer. I encourage you to read it.

I often consider myself a late bloomer artistically speaking. I didn't really get the calling until my late 30's and by that point I had had several careers of varying levels of success. The path I was on could have easily provided me with a stable, comfortable life. Then I began painting. I painted my first portrait, of my grandfather, the day I heard he was terminally sick. Although this painting is immature in many ways, it reminds me of the emotions I had that day. And it shows. For that, the painting is not for sale.

I continued painting for years on the side as a hobby. The hobby began to take over my thoughts. The urge to create became large. I found corporate jobs that allowed me to create more with my desk job but with time, I no longer found that satisfying. I had to break out on my own, in more ways than one. In Fall of 2008, I found myself alone in the middle of Madrid, a city I had dreamt of visiting since my first day of Spanish class in high school. It was a dream come true. It was also incredible lonely. My Spanish sucked. And even though I was attending classes all day long, my language abilities could not progress fast enough. I spent most of the time alone, no conversation.

Admitting to myself that I probably would not be hitting the nightlife in Madrid, I went to the incredible museums the city has to offer. The modern art museum housed collections of some of my favorite paintings such as Picasso, Miró, Gris, Dalí, etc. I stared for an hour at "Guerneca" by Picasso. I wanted to do that. I looked at it closer. I eventually began to walk back to my hotel with the paintings racing through my head. This is what I wanted to do. No doubts at all. Then all the insecurities hit circling the one fateful question, "How?"

So the plan was set and has been activated since then. Today is one year after my trip to Spain. I'm painting full time but not yet selling in large quantities. I'm looking for a balance between working as a consultant to feed my stomach and working as an artist to feel my soul. I know it will all work out in the end and the end isn't point. It is the process of creating and re-creating time and again is what I am looking forward to.

Just a Rainy Day

My allergies are flaring up, the weather is rainy and gloomy, and it has been an overly quiet day. It is now 4pm and I have not spoken to another human being. Normally I would become concerned that I am heading down the path to being a hermit but I just sat down at Starbucks and will be ordering a drink soon. My vow of silence will be broken.

In spite of all of this, I found that I was very productive and creative this morning. I have three paintings going at the moment. Nothing new there. But I noticed that I was intimately involved with each one today. As I focused on one, the others nearly disappeared from my consciousness. My world narrowed immensely and all I saw, all I thought about was the painting in front of me. In addition, the next step I wanted to take with each one become crystal clear. I was excited by it, elated. This took me by surprise since I woke up a bit crabby and bad allergies. I just didn't feel well and was suspecting today would be a less than productive day. Not the case.

I moved on the the second painting. Working away, I got a bit carried away and I overshot the result I was looking for. Resin can have a mind of it's own. It continued to flow even after I stopped working with it. So, I am now heading in an unknown and unexpected direction. The last time that happened I ended up finding a new technique.

The third painting is lacking emotion, my emotion. It shows. It is an attempt to satisfy the home decor market. I may be selling out here. I'm not being completely true to myself. One of these days I'll learn to relax and just paint my style without worrying about future sales. Art is not a product. Treating it as a product zapped the life out of it. In the meantime, I'll continue this piece and see where it may lead. Regardless, I'm enjoying creating it.

So, for what I thought would be a quiet day turned out to be very enlightening, productive and a bit adventurous. The day isn't over yet. Perhaps there is more to come.

Keep it Blank

This past week I was reviewing the 17th suggestion from Bruce Mau's "Incomplete Manifesto for Growth" which reads "____________________.
Intentionally left blank. Allow space for the ideas you haven’t had yet, and for the ideas of others."

At first, I didn't know what to think of this recommendation or how to incorporate it into my creative life, or life in general for that matter. I was looking for a specific suggestion. Then, I thought that I had to find a new suggestion to fill in the blank. I wasn't in the mood to come up with a new recommendation. Plus, it seemed counter to the feeling of the manifesto in general. So, I put it aside like I often do and come back to it later.

I didn't think about it that much in the sense of coming up with a new recommendation. My thoughts kept circling around the idea of being open to new things, ideas, situations, people, etc. Several times I caught myself in a creative brainstorming session, imagining new styles, the techniques that they would require and as well as new methods for getting my name out there and selling my work. The analogy that I began to use was this. My mind was a blank chalk board, completely clean. I would get distracted and focus on something else. Then, when I came back, it would be covered with writing, in my handwriting. Yet, I don't recall writing any of it. I would take in all the new concepts and ideas and erase the board. Something would then distract me again. When I came back, again, more handwriting. The process would continue. It even began to leech into my dreams. Ideas and new approaches were coming at me left and right 24 hours a day as long as I kept and open mind and didn't force it.

So, for me, I'm keeping this recommendation blank. The more blank I am, the more content seems to develop.

This week, I will look at the 18th recommendation, namely, "Stay up late. Strange things happen when you’ve gone too far, been up too long, worked too hard, and you're separated from the rest of the world."

Art for Sale

It is that time of year again. I got my flu shot this afternoon. I figured that I had to do it. Now more than ever I must take care of myself. With all the changes occurring in the world, I rationalized that the only way I can be a successful artist and a successful small businessman (all artists are small businesses) I will need to work smarter, maybe a little harder or longer hours, and definitely work to a higher level of quality. That means I want to avoid being sick or run down.

I had one of my inspiring afternoons in the process. I walked to the pharmacy that was selling the flu shots. I walked for the exercise, because it is a beautiful autumn day in Chicago (and winter is around the corner), and to be more green. It was a 25 minute walk to the pharmacy. All the way there, the current economic crisis was going through my head. In addition, and what I thought was more important, I was thinking about how I am going to "survive" the crisis. Questions like "how much money will I lose?" or "who will buy my paintings?" or "should I get a second job?" I try not to worry about things I can't control, like the economy and once I reminded myself of that, the answers to my questions became clear. Yes, I will lose a lot of money. Someone will buy my buy my paintings eventually. And probably, I will get a second job to put my mind at ease. Seemed easy. Worry was gone.

I got the shot. It hurt more than usual. I stopped off for a coffee for the walk home. I got a medium and I'm still drinking it. I'm not use to this amount of caffeine. I decided to take a different route home. A bit longer. I found it odd that I decided to take a longer route home since I had a number of things I wanted to accomplish yet today. I was feeling motivated by the fact I no long have to worry about the economy. I'm sure there are millions of people out there willing to do that for me. With the sun in my face and a cool breeze periodically blowing across the street, I began to receive images again. I didn't only receive one or two. I saw complete series. Two of them in fact. Both building on my current series but completely different at the same time. The images came quietly and remained in my thoughts until the next one arrived. I continued this process the entire walk home. I was a bit of a zombie. I walked home on autopilot while image after image became mine.

As cool of an experience it was, it was also frustrating. I have yet to set up my space or processes sufficiently to take on this number of pieces that I now what to do. Part of me fears that I will sink all this time, energy and money into creating all this art for it to pile up in the already full closet. It may be time for me to shrug off these fears, work on my craft, create these images that were so graciously given to me, and be an artist. After all, there will be someone out there who will buy my art, no matter what the stock market is doing.

Excuses, excuses

I woke up this morning not feeling very creative. I did however wake up with tons of excuses. I woke up late because it is Fall and the sun rises later. I didn't do my complete workout at the gym because it was getting late and I was a bit tired. Allergies you know. I didn't paint very long this morning because I just wasn't in the mood. On and on. All excuses. I didn't realize to this afternoon how many seemingly little things I rationalize away, all those things I don't do but should do to get the results I want and all those things I do do but should because they have results I don't want. What a trap I have created for myself.

I've been an artist long enough that there are days when I don't feel especially creative or in the mood. But not long after I begin my creative process, my mood changes and the creativity comes to me. It happens whether I want it to happen or not, as long as I do it. Creating almost always puts me into a good mood. So why do I allow myself to wiggly out of it? All those small reasons aren't reasons at all. Just excuses.

Here is another curious thing I notice today related to all of this. Three times a week I blog. I have it in my to do list. It happens even when I don't know what I am going to write about, which is often. Yet, there have been only a few days where I didn't blog. I determined that blog was important for me to do so I do it. But when it comes to my art, I haven't set aside time when creating is my priority. So it makes it easy to make excuses and not follow through. Yet this is what I want to do and I know that what I produce gets better and better each day. My best work is the work I start tomorrow. But, I don't give my work the priority and the energy that is needed to succeed. Paintings don't paint themselves. I paint them. So why do I allow myself to make excuses not to paint?

Many of my person and professional goals are dependent on me painting, producing paintings, producing good art and then selling it. Since this is at the core from which everything else is dependent, it is imperative that I give my art the respect, time and priority is deserves. Simply by creating an additional hour a day would have a order of magnitude difference in everything else that I do. I guess, no, I know that my challenge is to focus more, makes excuses less, and do those things that will have the greatest impact. In my case, that is painting. No more excuses.

Collaborate

This past week, I was looking at the 16th recommendation from Bruce Mau's "Incomplete Manifesto for Growth" which reads "Collaborate. The space between people working together is filled with conflict, friction, strife, exhilaration, delight, and vast creative potential."

What I experienced is that we don't live in a vacuum. Without interacting with others, emotion begins to drain out of our lives. Without emotion, any creation will lack emotion. Emotionless art is lifeless, boring, uninspiring, uninspired. There is a heat or passion that can spark between lovers. There is anger and sadness that develops in a fight. There is joy and happiness that exists when love and acceptance are shown and given. All of these emotions and many others gives us energy. That energy can be transferred into our creations. I believe it is the art that contains within it energy, aka emotions, is the art that elicits the greatest response from others. Everyone wants to feel alive, energized.

So my suggestion to put this recommendation into practice is to go out and have real relationships with people. I was going to use the word authentic instead of real but that came too close to what my therapist would say. I, as an artist, cannot express myself if I'm not clear on what I'm feeling and want to express. Likewise, if I'm not feeling, I cannot express myself. Feelings get triggered by interacting with others, by living a life. Go forth and experience. Try something new. Call someone. Do something. And if you are afraid to do so, great! Tell someone and watch your creativity flow.

This week I will look at "____________________. Intentionally left blank. Allow space for the ideas you haven’t had yet, and for the ideas of others.

Stay in the Game

Another week is coming to an end. My detail work plan was not followed to the letter but many more elements were incorporated into my work day. My art pieces are still moving at a snail pace but the business aspect is getting more attention than before.

I am a bit defeated. I had two shows in September and no sales. One gallery asked to keep my work up for another month. They seem to be working a bit harder to sell my art. That is why I'm paying them a commission. So, I'm encouraged by this.

Overall, I'm still optimistic. The art path is not a straight line and seems to be taking me in directions I hadn't expected. That is good, or I at least finally came to that conclusion. Sometimes that unexpected are the best and most rewarding surprises.

I'm still feeling pressure about money. All self induced. But, in time that will alleviate itself. I will make money somehow without it negatively impacting my desire to spend as much time as I can creating art. One step builds on the last. Consistency is the key to this game. It may be the key to any game. Stay in the game, keep playing and sooner or later, things will pop.

Which Way Do I Go?

For a few weeks know I have been struggling with the concept of being able to support myself with my art work. I haven't sold much lately even with two gallery shows. In addition, many who had doubts about my decision be focus on art as a living have been more vocal lately, spurring me to second guess myself. I often read in blogs and advice for artist websites the suggestion of not quiting your day job. Well I did, six month ago. All together has lead me to where I am now, wondering if I can make a living at this. I have self doubt.

When I first quit my corporate job, I was very gunho and full of optimism. I could paint the next masterpiece and conquer the world. So when the naysayers came knocking I could block their negative ideas or ignore them altogether. I could build myself up. Over time however, my resolve has weakened. I'm getting hit harder and more frequently by the naysayers. There are cracks in my force field. Plus I can only seem to pull myself up so high now. Not as high and strong as I was before. I'm feeling more pragmatic, or at least that how I am rationalizing my second guessing.

So here is my dilemma. On one hand, I know some just don't get it. They don't understand what I want or what I am trying to do. That is okay. They don't have to. As an artist, one of my jobs is to stretch myself and others. Change is hard to accept and often initially ridiculed, especially if it is visionary or radical. I see my purpose to help others see things differently. Some don't want to see things differently. I can work around them.

On the other hand, we live in a highly materialist society. Money rules. I am finding it hard to separate myself from this. I lived in this world for so long and I have a standard of living that I am accustomed to that I want to maintain. Therefore, I want a certain amount of money to make that happen. My art isn't supplying this at the moment. I can make the money I want if I sacrifice some of the time I have dedicated to my art and put it back into the corporate agenda. Part of me sees this as selling out. Part of me sees it as failing at being an artist. And part of me tells me I need more time to develop my craft and I should be will to do whatever it takes to make it happen, even if that means temporarily going back into a corporate life.

So, here I am. I have some doubt and some confusion on the best route forward. I know that I must stay the course to make my dream of being a self supporting working artist a reality. Creating art and showing it to others makes me happy. There may be some detours. There may be some wrong turns. I may even have to back track now and then. I guess, ultimately, it is a question of how badly I want this and am I willing to do the work to make it happen. If I can remain focus on my goal, I hope that I can stay true to the goal in spite of the naysayers and my own second guessing. If I stay true, the money will come.