Keep Moving

This past week I was playing with the idea "Keep moving. The market and its operations have a tendency to reinforce success. Resist it. Allow failure and migration to be part of your practice," from Bruce Mau's "Incomplete Manifesto for Growth." At first, I found it confusing. I didn't understand the idea of resisting reinforced success. I became clearer as the week progressed.

Several weeks ago I decided to set a goal for myself. I am working on a series of self portraits using my newly discovered resin techniques. The final series will consist of 12 images (I want to produce a calendar) so there is the possibility I may create more than 12 images depending on how many work and how many don't. The objective of the series is to examine and document how my technique, composition and theme of the images reflect how I see myself, my moods and feelings over time. I don't know what to expect except 12 amazing images.

I finished the first image. IT WAS AWFUL. I refuse to sign it so far in attempt to refuse ownership. I began the second image and it was progressing along the similar path as the first albeit a bit more aesthetically pleasing. And then it happened. I made a mistake. What do to, what to do. In keeping with the week's challenge, and many of the concepts addressed previously, I continued working. I chalked it up to a learning experience and perhaps I would get the third image right. More mistakes. The images was turning quickly into a bad direction. I stepped back and considered leaving it and beginning a new one. But, I decided I would continue and finish the piece like I finished the first one. I wanted to suspend judgement. I thought I had. I really didn't.

I was sitting on the floor looking at the image examining all the "flaws" when I began thinking of ways to cover the flaws or integrating the mistakes into the image. Then, the mistakes would no longer be mistakes, or at least that is how I rationalized it. I had nothing to lose. I didn't like the image as is so this would be an experiment of sorts. Instead of walking away, I continued to work the piece. I addressed one of the earlier mistakes. The "fix" integrated nicely and yielded a new look, one I had not considered previously. Feeling a bit more energized and positive, I address the new one. Again, I judged the result positive. Then the "flow" hit me and I was applying the "fix" to the entire image, reshaping it, redefining it. At a point, something inside me told me to stop and step back. When I returned a few hours later, I was pleasantly surprised with what I saw. The image had emotion. My emotion. It may not look like me but I was definitely represented.

If I had not continued working, I would have continued to do the same thing over and over again on future painting, which was not giving me what I wanted. However, when I accepted the mistakes and then worked with them, instead of letting them work against me, I got more than I had imagined. Not only was the image heading in a new and better direction, I was energized to move in a new and better direction as well.

This week I will look at "Slow down. Desynchronize from standard time frames and surprising opportunities may present themselves." Talk about challenging my corporate brainwashing...