I Expect Everything

Grey day, grey mood, too many unrealistic expectations. This is how I started the day. I was recently brought to my attention that I have many expectations regarding things about which I have no control. This would include other people's behavior, likes and dislikes, or events that are have a high probablity of not occurring. All day today I have been struggling with the notion that I can acknowledge and occassionally change my expectations, and then go on. And by changing my expectations, possibly have more of them satisfied.

I have 40 years experience of placing expectations on others, without them knowing it, and then secretly being disappointed when the expectations go unfulfilled. Soon after resentment begins to build. I like the idea of the other approach. Modify my expectations to things I can control or influence, namely my behavior, and let everything else go. The first part I can see doing and I can see the benefits. It is similar to personal goal setting or a self pep talk. The second half however, letting everything else go, including the behavior of others seems completely foreign to me. I understand that it enough to know that it makes perfect sense, intellectually speaking. But from an emotional standpoint, I've never done it. I can't visualize what that would look like or feel. And hence my dilemma.

The one part that I think is fascinating is that if/when I can let go of placing expectations on others or things outside my control, I will, in theory, experience less disappointment and resentment. Focus inward, not outward. I totally get it. I will have to play with this. I don't know how to do it.